HOTLIES

i dont understand

2006-04-15T10:08:00.000+08:00

SKINS OF THE DAY ON 10thApril06.
YAY!! i know it is a little to late to celebrate.
BUT still, YAY!

The only person who starts insulting people in a fight,
creates more sins. Too bad I ain't gonna be hell-fated.
God advices to be patient. So i will be. No matter what.
I hear my name, this means i'm involved. D'uh common sense.

BUT WHATEVER.
I'm not gonna be childish about this.
So i will just forget about it.
Childish people will only think about it anyway.

OHYEAH. Why should I talk about this? MYMY.
Oh welsh. Only God knows.

YAY!! i got my ftp d/l-ded and waiting for my wordpress to be too.
I LOVE MY HOST! seriously. I think shes very nice.

TIME FOR MUGGING.

papamonster

2006-04-14T19:05:00.000+08:00

ABOUT PAPA MONSTER!
When i was sitting with Hani yesterday during HomeEcons and in class, we talked alot about papamonster, that is Norman uhs. Norman Lim or Norman Yahya. Wait, I forgot what we talked about? About Hani getting pregnant(WHICH IS A JOKE) I was like gonna laugh-crying! About Hani calling me a son of a bitch so, she is the bitch while Norman is the gigolo. HEY! Hani says that. NOT ME! Wahaha!! We talked about swollen legs. About why papamonster went for operation. And HANI threatens me that I will go operation like papamonster. PAPAmonster and cookie monster is the same species what. HAHA! Like daughter like Father aights? WAHAHAHA!

What sah. I hate COINCIDENCES. But some people are acceptable like my online friend who has the same personality as me? HOPEFULLY she's not a fake la like SOME PEOPLE i know in school. I hate it when people make statements out of my works. SHINE ON. Coincidence what right? So? WE HAVE MANY COINCIDENCES LA. And don't say NO NO NO. It's good la that YOU CHANGE FOR THE SAKE OF MY ORIGINALITY.

I hate them. Fakers and ccoincidence almost EVERYTIME. Sorry la if my post hurts your feelings. But I'm stating the facts. BTW, it's my blog and my say. BUT i know la i have no rights right? That must be what you are thinking. WHATEVER? I said whatever so it is your choice to either accept it or do it your way. Anything is all i meant.

help me allah?

2006-04-13T19:52:00.000+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS C'DIV!
Although we did not make in in our semi-finals, you guys did well!
Do cheer up guys! YOU ALL PLAYED REAL WELL against Sports School.

ARGH! Help me please. I am in such pain.
EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.
Physically because my leg is so ARGH!!
Now it is like as if my right leg is getting swollen
when my left is getting better. WTH?
Emotionally(as always) about my family.
And about her luhs. But I know we will be friends again.
HOPEFULLY.
I know it scares you and disgust you
but it really hurts when you are the one experiencing it.
I don't mean to bark off like that but I'm getting sick of the same things.
Like WHY IS YOUR LEG LIKE THAT?! And I have to repeat it ALL OVER.
SORRY LA if i hurt you. But I DIDN'T MEAN TO. Sorry SQUIRREL.

Alright about my dad? He was sort of sorry for me and decided not to be angry with me. Telling me to take care almost EVERYWHERE i go and calling me almost after a few hours if I'm still ohkay was really touching la. I mean usually my mum would call me so it is now his turn. I also told myself to be a more patient with him abit. Since he is getting older, I have to look after him. Besides, I think I am like the only one that he have although there are like my brothers and sister. I find myself to be VERY VERY close with my parents since young. I mean my other siblings just kept to themselves. Especially my second brother. Such a loner. But he used to be cheerful in past years. I guess people do change alot. Like me? I guess. NAH! I am still the naughty NURULFATIN people knew. But I can really keep to myself. I mean that is the time where I really have nothing to do. REALLY NOTHING TO DO. Anyway no matter how difficult it is to have so many problems in my family, I HEART THEM!

SO....
In class was damn MAD. Sat with HANI MUKAJI. HAHAHA!
Me and Hani twins? Hair yes but face NAH-UH. She is way too pretty.
But I HATE HANI'S HAIR. HAHAHA! Relax, joking luhs.
But seriously it does look good. So funkaye.
NIZAM AND KHAIRUL so irritating. But i HEART their jokes luh smtimes.
Nothing much happened. I guess.

BUT i do remember when Rizal kacau Big Yan. He makes fun how the nepalese boys in my school talks. WAWAWA~! Really can't take it! I really laughed CRYING! But today never met him sah. **I realised that I have not been talking alot lately. The most I talked was on Wednesday. AND I MISS CALLS FROM ZAIRI! The mapeks we talk. RARRR. ANYONE TALK TO ME LEHS.

OHIO IS FOR LOVERS by e-mogirl(me!) was NUMBER 1 in 15 top rated! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! Thanks to those who rated me and commented. Was hoping to be SOTD. But it seems that Blogskins "worker" is not working? HAHA! Oh well!

He hearts someone. I want it to be me. But I can't keep my hopes high (as aidil advices) so fine. I think not. I can't get the guys I wanted. As fated. Haish, I wish my legs RECOVERS SOON!

no point -.-

2006-04-10T14:10:00.000+08:00

It's absolutely no point trying to talk some sense to fathers.
In this case, my FATHER.
If you take something out from the freezer and then you boil it, it is logically sure that you are going the cook the whole thing. That is cooking red meat. After boiling it, you are suppose to spice it up and fry it. BUT, my father puts it back into the freezer =.=" I am so pissed. I mean if you are not cooking then might as well you don't boil it in the first place. So when I asked him why, he gave me the most unlogical answer of a blur person(him). He said that he wants to fry it tomorrow. I mean the meat that you boiled, you put it back into the freezer, you are going to boil it again right? PLUS! He is suppose to fry the meat TODAY according to my grandmother. When I told him that (infact I gave up in the middle) he said to me that I DO NOT HAVE TO TEACH HIM SUCH THINGS. Hello?! The reason why I am "teaching" him is that what he is doing is so NOT LOGICAL. EVEN MY GRANDMOTHER SAID THAT. My father just do not accept the fact that he can't do some things and when people help him or give guidance he says he does not need it. I guess there's no point at all to force or even bother to work with such people. WHAT EVER IT IS, he is my father. And I HATE HIM FOR ALL THE INLOGICAL things he thinks it's logical. He is the reason why I hate my life and love my life.

Ohyes. SPOTLIGT PLEASE!
I would like to highlight this very very bright.
I DONT ACT AS IF I HAVE FAMILY PROBLEMS.
I have family problems. Many.
And you can't expect me to tell you everything because it is private.
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. Don't think you will understand when you dont undrerstand the meaning of PERSONAL AND PRIVACY.
I know this is an OLD TOPIC and i have to leave it.
BUT JUSTIFIYING THE TRUTH FOR MYSELF is NEVER TOO LATE.
WHEN NO MEANS NO. I mean it.

**IM TIRED AND SICK.
HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND(:
And if don't, then leave me alone.

I just don't get it. Why must people force me for the things I'm not involve and not respoinsible for. When I have to hold on, let me. Don't temptate me to lose grip and QUIT. I'm not a quiter and not a failure. But I am if I'm useless at it. I AM USELESS. So why act as if that my presence is important. You hate me anyway. Enjoy the time without me then. Adults! I'm still young and I hate Adults!

So my father says that I could live without him. YES I ADMIT IT. I JUST COULD NOT LIVE W/O A MOTHER. My father says that he won't come back. OK fine. JUST GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY YOU HAVE AND DON'T COME BACK. He says why my attitude is like that, DUH. I was happy just now and he caused me to be FILLED WITH RAGE. He can't handle my attitude. Besides I learn everything form my parents. So all this negativity he finds in me, I learn it from him. So he said that I can live without him, he is hinting that I can run away. ALRIGHT I WILL THEN. Since you don't have a plan to live. You don't have a plan for the family to be happy. All you think is survive(might as well become animal right?). FINE. When I disappear one day. Don't come looking for me!

another weird dream

2006-04-10T10:58:00.000+08:00

I HAVE ANOTHER WEIRD DREAM LAST NIGHT.
I dreamnt that I was training doing PARKOUR stunts and tricks.
WAWAWAWA! Super shock. First of all, it all took place at my tuition place, PING YI SEC. I was like !@#$#!%#?!!>?! (of course when I woke up). It all happened when I was caught being late for class after recess (I am always late HAHA seriously). Then Miss Tan (the trainee teacher I sort of hate) caught me and for the first time she pulled me by my blouse (#@#$!). And.. HAHA i forgot what happened. Hey, you can't expect me to remember all of my dreams. Like as if you could. If you can then congrats(: LOL!

Haish, eversince I'm sick and injured and all, I found myself to be glued to the computer. I HAVE TO STUDY! I promised to study TONIGHT. Alright, today will be Maths and I will finish up stupid Home Econs coursework. BLEAHSSS.

Last night I talked to dearest Zairi and Aidil. But Aidil was like urghh, So i enjoyed my times with Zairi. Talked merepek banyak. WAWAWA! But i still like. ~~I think I have feelings for Zairi.~~ GOSH! Homones and feelings going WILD! RARRRR.

OH YES! Finally I got hosted by a wonderful host Cynthia. I so <<33 her! She's not as fussy and she is really helpful. Thank CT! But I'm still not sure when the site will be up yet. I will inform you guys soon. Then maybe I will make brushes and yadayada. WAWAWA!

weird dream

2006-04-09T15:25:00.000+08:00

Im like so freaking bored right now.
And I am like seiously need to be hosted.
Haiyoh! So i'm learning PHP now.
And hopefully it will be successful.
Triesd wordpress and I'm so *ke-ding-dong* with it.
RARRRRRR. So, I'm counting on PHP.

I HAVE A WEIRD AND DISGUSTING DREAM LAST NIGHT!
I dreamnt that i was pregnant! ARGH! With this guy i knew.
ARGHHH! BAD DREAM.

GONE FISSION CLAN'S BLOG IS UP.
CHECK IT OUT.

chiaos!

2006-04-08T11:01:00.000+08:00

So I was admitted to the hospital for 1-2 days.
The doctor was so unsure of me and my problem.
HSB? But it turned out to be the effect of sorethroat virus.
Or flue or whatever it is.. Haiyoh, took my blood twice for no reason.
Waste my blood. The second time, another doctor took my blood.
He was actually scaring me saying that it was painful.
But it turned out not painful. Buat suspense jer.
So I was given 1 week MC (so no need to go school),
not going to be involved in any physical activities for 6 weeks,
and I have to wear slippers to school for 2 weeks.
WOW. What a suprise. I really deserve this rest. And during the rest,
I DEMAND A ROOM MAKEOVER.

I feel my house so dirty and like not clean? Eversince I went home the itch starts.
SO, everyone blamed me that the house is in a mess because of me. That i should be the one doing th housework. Fine I will, with the tight schedule I have almost everyday. Fuck. If everything is my fault, might as well I don't stay at home right. I know la just because I am a girl and it is the duty as a girl or a (anak dare) to do the housework. My family or let's just say my dad and grandma is so old fashion. But it is acceptable, they're old people anyway.

I REALLY REGRET FOR GETTING SO SO SO SICK.
I reakky want to go out with you guys. Seriously and I am desperately in need of SHOPPING. Oh man. My swollen ankle is getting better though its still fat (the swell appearance). Oh yes. Photos will be up soon. Dont go away.. WAWAWA!

screwd up.

2006-04-06T18:30:00.001+08:00

Haish, so screwed up with my leg right now.
It is so freaking swollen.
I hate the condition I am right now.
I hope it is gonna be okay when it comes to Saturday n_n.

Went to school, and it is like hell. Can't even walk like the way I wanted.
I have to like struggle first before getting to walk "properly" that is ofcourse,
with a little limp. Felt like throwing up in the morning. Freakishly painful, because..
my stomach forces me to throw up. But there is nothing to throw up and like,
and my stomach was like grinding itself. Ca't you imagine how painful it could be.
I did not cry la. The tears kept appearing. Like when you throwup, tears will apear right.

I AM SO SORRY TO THE NETBALLERS. I know I haven't come to watch you guys play and my attendance is important. I hope you guys understand what I am going through. I believe that you can do it. I just hope you guys for the best.

[EDIT] While I was waiting the bus with Rizal, Sutra was like behind me. And he got closer and closer(: SO HAAPY. Wish la he was mine. Then I could like. Hug him and all, like I will do to the one I truly LOVE(: I mean, he was so close to me like side by side and I really want to pinch his cheeks!! RARRR! TO SUTRA, I really like you and I think I love you, but can't you see I'm a little afraid of you? Haish, don't make me wait and Im soon gonna give up.[/EDIT]

I did have plans eventhough my leg is in a horrible state. I must get my student EZ-link card by today before my father BLOW UP. So, I went to make it Pasir Ris Inter with Rizal(: Along the way, there's this awesome old guy trying to catch his bus. He is so FUNNY! And ofcourse, we kept talking about GFC an pk stuffs. I seriously want to be the official 1st GPK in damai. BUT my stupid leg is making alot of trouble. ARGH!! ALLAH!! HELP ME PLEASE. So far, the only help I can receive is from Allah. You know why? I think there is no solution to this "problem" I have and all this while the things I prayed for, He really makes me believe that I can go through all of these obstacles. BUT because of my leg, I can't carry out prayers. Which I start to miss it. Prayers really is a miracle work to me, I always feel clean; refresh; care-free and all. I know I made many sins and I'm not a saint or what. But I try my best to be a do-gooder since I think that "the day" will come. SO YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE! BETTER BE GOOD! Seriously.

After I made my EZ-link card (which I am so proud of; because my face looks better than the original one) haha, I went to TM with Rizal to buy a school shoe. Then after that, he blanjer me Sweetalk Drink(: Awww.. Thankyou!

Went home and then went online. Not much was online so I fell asleep. Woke up and now blogging. My sis came back and ate beside me. She said that I will soon become fat. I think so too, because I eat, use computer and sleep. LOLS. Like d'uh, you want me to like exercise with my swollen leg?! %$#$$*(&(! HAHA.

OHYEASH, My father says that overdosing on ANTIBIOTICS is dangerous. Alright I shall not do that then. At least he warned me, not like scolde me. I like it when my father just say what he is suppose to say. I don't like it when he accuse me of something and does not allow me to justify myself. I LOVE my father. But it is difficult for him to understand her daughter la, because a mother would understand better, MY MOTHER. Ohwelsh, what is done, can't be undone and just await ofor the future.

Till here la people. I just noticed I really blogged properly unlike my previous twos. So, GOOD JOB FATIN(: OH YEAH, Like my new skin? HAHA. BYEE Y"ALL!

pathetic

2006-04-05T10:54:00.000+08:00

sorry for not blogging.
sunday was FUN FUN FUN.
Pictures? haiyoo.
Lazy to load la. hmms.
maybe next time aites?

Monday did not go to school.
All because of this fcking pathetic leg of mine.
It is so all poisoned by a stupid insect.

Tuesday went to school.
Wore a pathetic slipper.
RARRR.
not much fun. Tasha did not came.
HAISH.

TODAY. Did not go to school.
Can fucking walk.
Leg fully poisoned.
I overdose on antibiotics yesterday.
Helping to get rid some of the poison in me atleast.
And to like maybe easy to sleep.
IT DID NOT WORK.
Instead, I can't sleep and it is so fucking painful la.
HAISH.
Maybe i should overdose more.
If I die, .....
Don't know la what is going to happen.
I will miss you guys.
I overdose also not because I want to die.
I want to get the freaking poison in me.
haish.
so stress yesterday.
I DEMAND A ROOM MAKEOVER.
I think JUNE will be great.
Will go buy all new furniture and stuffs.
HAHAHA!
Stupid la. Since I can't buy a smaller size bed
because my sister is getting married,
I WILL HAVE TO BUY A BED for myself
by the END OF THE YEAR.
haiyooo.

alright la. enough of talking.
Gotta to finish a skin.
and work another for irda
and another one for myself.

CHERRIOS.

2006-04-02T09:45:00.000+08:00

haiyoo.
i'm so fucked up with my life.
today, woke up and was thinking,
"time to get fucked up again.."
haish.. forever la.

making a skin for rizal's crew,
GONE FISSION CLAN.
parkour crew.
cool aites? everywhere i got now,
i'll see people doing parkour.
so fun siahs. I don't think i wanna try la.
I simply dont suit.
haha.

I'm so addicted to peterpan's song.
though this song is kinda old sikit..
i still like ok!
especially the video..
because the guy damn HANDSOME.

psst.. i got a new guy..

alright, chatted with him for like 1 hour= only,
our chat was cut off so sudden.
haha. my fault la.
my batt low!

and i seriously need to get a new hp.
my hp rosak(spoil) and it is because..
i dropped it at on the road for like more than..
5 times if i'm not wrong?

getting this nokia hp. and this color.
whoever i know to have this exact phone..
right after i told you guys..
YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING POSER.
haha. wait until i buy first la. kays?
nokia 3250.

byees.!

** today got project. wthell..

fucking itch

2006-03-31T23:31:00.000+08:00

hellu.
I gotta say this la.
I forgotten what to blog about a few days back.
and the pics? haish. Look at my stickcam la.
If your pc cant load stickcam then too bads.

hrrms..
MY LEGS ARE HAVING SERIOUS PROBS.
MY ANKLE IS SWOLLEN.
just because i almost slipped on the way to tuition today.
and btw, it's rainning.
another thing is,
I HAVE SERIOUS RASH on my leg.
it is so like red and bulging that it looks as if it was about to burst.
AND OH. it is fucking painful siols. it is like burning?!
ALARHHH. im in pain thats alll..

TODAY is fucking shioks sey.
after recess, all the periods onwards teacher never come.
as in like.. no lessons.
((((: happy seys.

Oh yeahs. I went to IRDA'S hse.
and it is like so nice.
LIKE COMPLETE NEAT-NESS.
alarhh.. my dream home la.
AND IT IS BESIDE SUNGEI API-API.
haiyohs.

byee..
* sorry for the language of today, I tired luhs.
And... i'm in pain!

sorraye

2006-03-28T10:48:00.000+08:00

Hellu and sorraye to people who asked to send the pics that were taken on Sunday. My mouse wasn't functioning well and it was rather difficult to actually use the touch pad mouse of the laptop. You can't work fast. I'm a very impatient person in terms of work and such things. But you know me right? I'm very patient in the inside. (Alright stop. I'm talking about myself and that's not the point.)

Firstly I would like to talk about today. I did not attend school because I was sick since last week? And it is like the same old illness I always been having when I'm sick. Which is flu. I'm prone to having it. And it is sort of dangerous because now that there is bird flu. I think mine is common in the family. Both my brothers and my sister and me are having problems with the lungs. Two of my brothers have asthma (not the serious type), my sister used to have asthma too, but I don't think she have it now already. And me? I have flu in my lungs. Which means, I'm most likely to have flu when I'm sick. But my case is not something so serious. A minor one.

Yesterday, after school, I went to eat with the Ada'arx (whatever the name is) and Tasha. Ate at LongJohn and everywhere we go we see effin' cute guys (especially the one who sat behind me in the bus). He is so effin' cute and super c-harming! Ohmygosh. So rare to see such guys like him. And he was from St. Hilda. The school I put as first choice (don't ask me why). Everywhere we walk, we always melt. Hani and I was like looking for him. Haha! How silly and mad we could be. After school, went home and jengJENGjeng (please do not bother to ask me) and that was the reason i cant go for netball self training.

ALRIGHT! The fun part now.
On Sunday, suppose to do project. But in the end did not because something terribly happened to Nad's family. But before that, met Kaiyan at my block at arnd 7:45am and went to Farhah's house. She was still sleeping so, I went to knock on her window {= lols. So finally she woke up and waited until she bathe and change and all that. Then went to meet Syaz and after that went to EastCoast. We planned to cycle and skate and slack there but it was raining. So we went to TM and Stadium. Then went to meet Rachel at TM again. Then blabla.. went to met Sarah at Tampines Inter and go Town and hang out there la. So much fun. So here are the pics.

In Farhah's room.

Bubblegum-ed me, Syaz and Farhah.

Fatin & Syaz.

I so love my t-shirt. So emo.

At the underpass.

Learning how to do the peace sign from Farhah.

Blur effect of us.

We're falling over..

emo sehs.

(ok. fuck. blogger can't load my pics now.)
will upload soon aites?

2006-03-27T17:47:00.000+08:00

ATTN!
MY MOUSE IS NOT WORKING.
WILL BLOG MAYBE A LATER WHILE AITES?

2006-03-25T12:36:00.000+08:00

Hellu. It's been a while.
I deleted the previous post because the pics are bigger than my skin.
So, I'm re-posting.

Firstly, I want to make it clear to you.
Call me whatever insulting names you want.
I won't kill me although it is rather insulting.
How do you feel if I call you shit? You like it not?
Think man.

Secondly, I want to make this very clear.
Though we are not as close anymore.
And I don't want to hold grudges.
Why don't we just be normal friends?

Thridly, I want to ask myself that,
Is it wrong to have many good, close friends.
And to hang out with them at different times?
I know I may have neglected you guys or smth.
But have you thought of how i felt towards you.
Ohkay, wait relax. I don't want to fight.
I just want to tell you. Since everyday at school,
I dont get a chance to.

Fourthly, I found out that having too many bestfriends,
can result to childish friendship fights.
So, now, I will not have many bestfriends.
I will have atleast 1. But isn't unfair to another?
Alright 2 because each of us have a direct link to one another.

Fifth, I finally got to talk to a long lost friend. Aidil.
But it ended shortly because of his fast emo reaction.
Which I so hate. I'll hear you as in you have to call me!
Understand and make it fast because the thing i want to tell you,
i might forget about it.

Sixth, I plan to run away. With her.
Someday you will find me missing for maybe as long as 2 days.
And nobody will never know why. Only us. We promised that.

Seventh, I cried endlessly last night with her.
We are at the edge of everything. We can't stand it.

Eighth, I slept at 12.15am and woke up at 9;20am.
Freak that is so gay. Finished this blogskin and till now,
I'm blogging.

Nineth, I seriously cannot hear and feel my heart.
It's so numb, the connections just cut. Fuck.
Must be because of all the things I'm so fucked up about this year.

Tenth, I made a promise with her last night.
That we weill never quarrel over childish things.
And that we will never break friendships.
And that we will run together forever.
One day you'll see. ONE DAY.

I never been so serious about running away.
I want to run away forever with her.
But that is too egoistic.
Maybe a day or two.
Away from them..

Alright time to get on business.
The sports day pictures again!

the pics of Irda and me.

Me at the top and below, Irda, Syaz captain and vice- fenni.

msKAYAN and me.

the pics of Irda, Farhah and Fatin. Wait the last pic I look fat =X

ms.KAYAN saying fuck.

Farhah & Fatin. What's with Farhah?

irda, sarah, farhah and me. I look so happy unlike them?
What happen?!

Taufik, Saiful and Luthur.

Me with the straw, Taufik above and Farhah.

Kiss from above ; Fatin & Farhah.

"You shhtupidd! Abbejjje, Abbejjeddehh!" My word(: lols.
Fatin & Farhah.

---

And after sports day, Irda, Fatin and Farhah went to tuition.

In the bus to tuition.

-THE END-

BACK

2006-03-20T11:07:00.000+08:00

So, I'm back from holiday and did not attend school today.
I reached Singapore at around 10.20+p.m?
And reached home arnd 11.25p.m.
Decided not to go to school, was pretty tired actually.
Anyways, I havnt even done a single homework (wtfuck).

Unpacked my stuffs just now and found out that I bought..
6 sets of clothes
1 roxy tote bag (that i always wanted)
1 diesel jeans
3 pairs of earings
1 quicksilver cap
---
souveniers? Errrms.. hehhehs.
You see, I planned to get some for you guys especially the team.
but.... i did not get to buy them because time is running out.
I mean, the souveniers are so expensive.
Like a key chain that costs RM12.90 and if I were to buy for 24 ppl,
My dad will blow up.
Sorry guys.
---
Shopping was a little fun.
I happen to shop the most among my cousins.
I felt guilty sometimes because I made them wait for me to buy the stuffs I wanted.
That is one thing I hate about shopping with many people you know.
1. You feel guilty because you made them wait for you.
2. They get annoyed waiting for you.
THAT'S WHY. I always went shopping with people who enjoy the fun of shopping with me.
Let's see.. So far.. These are the people I enjoy shopping with. (not in order)
1. My sister (but now, I guess not anymore. USED TO.)
2. Aisah, my cousin.
3. Suhailah (maybe, that depends if she says that I'm very fussy at some stuff)
4. Irda (YES! so totally..)
5. Farhah? (Yes, ofcourse without the money fights and stuff.)
6. Wana, my cousin (rarely did I went shopping with her but.. it was fun)
anymore? hmms..
Yerp all girls. the only boy was my brother(the first one) because i could ride his scrambler and he really knows where to get affordable gadgets/electronic stuffs. PLUS! he is very patient to(: and yeps.. don't mind going back to the same store.. HAHA.
BFs? nahh.. never once enjoyed with the ones I was with.
(many reasons.. dont ask)
---
GENTING was freaking nice(:
I love the weather. So cold and sunny.
Freazing actually.
The themepark was better than Bejaya Times Square at KL.
Especially the Space Drop or smth..
Where by you were seated and was brought up to the sky..
(veryyyyy high) until you were surrounded by the clouds (actually it was the mist due to the cold weather) and thenit drops you down. FREAKING nice man. I love it. It is something like Bunjee jumping.. only you that you were seated.
---
I discovered that I LOVE WA' LELE!
A cat fish meal.
Actually it was a deep fried cat fish.
DELICIOUS. It is seriously nott disgusting.
But ofcourse as a pure jawa, I love it la.
---
Overall, I did not enjoy this holiday much.
I enjoyed maybe 70%?
All this could be so freaking fun with my mother.
But that is all in the past. Leave it and prepare for the future(:
---
Oh did I mention that whenever I am in Malaysia, I was afraid of being robbed?
I ALMOST got robbed but I managed to escape in time. It was TWICE.
FUCK! I got fed up with the taxi drivers. And this cashier.
And everywhere you go, there are smokers? CHOKED silently.
Anyway.. We cannot compare the countries. They have their own way.
---
Pictures? nah-uh not showing you. (maybe) freaking sister using.
I thought she has her own?!
Plus, She thinks she can use MY LAPTOP.
Sorry ohk? With the way you treat me, I'm not going to let you.
Besides since you husband-to-be is going to give why the fck do you need me to let you install you handphone cd blablabla. That CD won't help. If you cannt transfer than sorry.
---
I'm being tooo nice to people. Time to back up a little.
I HATE SCHOOL! ARGHHHH!

2006-03-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

Like what the fuck.
Today was so ARGH!!! (especially starting training).
Everyone's giving me a throw that's too high and said I cannot catch.
Yeah, like d'uh. I can't. Cannot play monkey. Yes. I cannot play anything.
Say my throw floating, but when i bang say don't slam. Whatever la.
I just don't know what the hell I was thinking back then.
Maybe because I was thinking about NO PAIN NO GAIN.
OH HECK LA. Why do I even bother to talk about it?!
SHEEEESH!!

Before training, had 3km run around the reservoir.
And I jogged non-stop and got first(:
But oh well, who cares about position?
It was rather fun la. ESPECIALLY IN THE END.
Saw him at the traffic light.Stupid Kaiiyan said hi to him!! ARGH!
Everyone was like FATRA, FATRA, FATRA.
*BLUSHING*
I am like so going to shoot up!!

Then Farhah said while we were doing reverse turn during training,
he was looking at me. I don't believe sah! But I was liking it.
(o^.^)o NYEHAHAS!

Oh yeahs, TOMORROW EVENING. I WILL NOT BE IN SINGAPORE.
GOING GENTING(: or was it Sunway Lagoon?
Asked dad for $200 singapore dollars so I will get about RM400+.
Hehees. Buying lotsa things for my friends lor.
I will buy the whole netball team something.
Will buy for my close and bestfriends.
Those never get sorry la.

I dont know why I bother to justify myself.
BUT I DID NOT MEAN TO LOSE YOUR CD
AND GOT IT BACK W/O KNOWING THAT MY BRO TOOK IT.
If you don't want to trust me, go ahead.
Because the line is clear. YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND.
{But ofcourse this is a long issue, should not bother la.}

./apologies on my knees turned out to be NOTHING.
PS* thanks Tasha for posting this(: <3 you girl(:

exact details

2006-03-12T12:37:00.000+08:00

Alright, I havn't been bloggin properly lately.
So I'm re-posting yesterday's as well.

On Thursday the senior netballers got 1st for their finals.
Congrats guys. And the junior, the us, got 3rd.
After the match and trophy taking and stuffs, had a treat at Pizza Hut.
Did take photos but i only took 2(without my faces) so I dont think it's worth posting here.
Before that, while we changing into jersey we took some.

one pic only. haha.. anyways continue..
Ate pasta and lotsa pizza and had lotsa fun. I also discovered many things.
After that went home(:

The next day was Prize Presentation. Was a lttle confident and embarrased.
Was embarrased espcially the part we had to cheer in front of the school and stuffs.
But i felt great after that.
Had Mother Tongue and after that recess.
Went recess with Irda. Talked about bags and stuffs.
Then had lessons and blaaa.
School finally ended.

Had photo taking session with the seniors
but it was postponed because alot wasn't present or were busy.
Before that, while the C'div was gathering at level 2, I saw him XD.
I guess he saw me too, because we looked straight at each other.
I panicked and looked at the floor or was it ahead? Don't remember. ((:
Then something happened. Irda cried. I know how it feels, I will be there for you(:
And then had a longgggg talk with Mdm Yani. Was abt to fall asleep but I hung on.

Then after that went to buy bag. It was my idea to buy a tote bag with Irda.
Farhah wanted DC bag. Then Farhah merajok because cannot buy the bag.
What the fuck la. Not my problem right.
Haiyoo.. You have no money and you expect me to wait for you?
Like as if you will save up like that. What? expect me to blanjer you ?
$20 bucks on you for two weeks not enough?!
I know la that you get $2 for one day. I also had $2 one day last yer and I SURVIVED.
Why cant you?!?! I blanjer you and asked me to share you gave me a winnie bit.
When i shared with you you took alot. Did I ever argue until like this?!
I blanjer you and treat you well and this is what I get?
Farhah, grow up la, imagine you have to work for money.
Work for it. Dont expect us to spoon feed you.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but you hurt us and we just kept quiet f.y.i
All I did was stating the facts. I hope you take this issue seriously.
Because neither me nor you would like this to happen.
So learn from your mistake.
You never once know how I feel, probably how we felt.
I know you "cannot understand emo people".
Have you tried understanding?
Have you tried understanding others?
Did I mention to you to "ingatkn orang jgn ingatkn sendiri" after netball?
Well, I did.
I'm sorry if you were hurt. I don't even know why I'm saying sorry.
Maybe it was my fault. But I know it's your fault as well.
If you want me to give in, I will. But stop taking advantage of us.
I dont want to lose this friendship because of MONEY PROBLEMS.
Let's be normal kay?

Went to tuition.
I cried at the bus. (irda knows why)
then at tuition. was crazy as usual.
told irda the answer.
answer : SILICA gel
but i wrote silicon like what the fuck.
oh well, learn from mistakes.

Then go home.
IRDA doesnt want to.
was about to stay over to my house.
But in the end nah.
WAS WORRIED SICK for her.

ON FRIDAY
Had Learning Journey Excursion.
Irda went to my house and then we went to school together.
Then saw his new hair. OHMYGOSH!
It's nice la. But i prefer his last time old messy hair.
Maybe his new g/f ask him to do so? Does he have a new g/f?
CONFUSED.

Took lotsa pics during the journey(:
fatin(:

Then bought bag AGAIN, had a good talk with suhailah about the problem.
I guess now I really understand why la.
You should always look for help to those who have experienced.
Haha.. Suhailah the experienced one.
OH HAIL SUHAIL!

**THEN!!
brother called and asked if dad allowed me to get a laptop
and i said yes.
AND HE BOUGHT IT(:
and i took my revenge.

see alot of things happened to me.
many good things. thats why i say I thank ALLAH for it.
(: love ALLAH. (: love MAMA. (:love Ayah and family(:
LOVE suhail, irda, syaz and friendssss.

happy thangs

2006-03-11T22:22:00.000+08:00

Today. many things happened to me.
All of them good.
Got my own laptop already.
Had happy times during the excursion.
Took pics(: hehees.
Direct eye contact on friday.
Bought a bag. Yesterday
Finally, made up my final mind that I wanted black.
Since the start, so I'm sticking to the originals.
Got my revenge. Sweet ones.
I thank god mostly. I thank him for everything.
Cried because of her. You guys should know la.
The most important thing.
Maybee it's time for me to go solo.

dont know

2006-03-07T18:02:00.000+08:00

I will try my best.
I dont fucking care.
Even if my luck is bad.
Must I always depend on luck?
Maybe, at certain extent.

Today in class, cried for no fucking reason. Haha.
I cried alot today..
The one in class was for real la.
I forgot what was it about.
But the one with Farhah after netball was fake.
I can cry anytime I want(:
Hehs.

On Monday, C'div lost.
Sad sight. Lost by one.
Many of us cried.
Haish.. Jiayou. It is still not over yet.

So yes, new skin.
Making a skin for us triplets.
But seriously no inspirations.
Netball blog? When to do sial?
Haiyooo.

Slacking at science and maths I guess?
OH YES! The results today..
SCIENCE = 30/40 (:
HISTORY = 40/50 (:
It is all a diff of 10 marks from full marks.
But who cares..
At least I did my best and that counts(:

ENGLISH = fucking mrs. nair. Oops sorry nikkita, your mum.
But seriously Mrs. Nair the problem is you.
You just dont blend in.
TRY. Atleast try. Dont have it your way la.
Who wants to follow sey.
I mean it is all so unreasonable and useless.
Sorry. No offence.

GETTING LAPTOP! the conver.
Me: Haiyoo. Stupid computer! The screen won't appear.
Father: Ohk, tommorow we buy.
Me: (SERIOUSLY?!) Huh tomorrow? You sure?!
Father: Yes (smiling sarcastically).. Ohk. I give Abang Hafiz (brother) money then ask him to buy.
Me: (ABANG?! You crazy? He disagrees of me buying a laptop for myself) Don't want uh.. (Trying to change the subject) You got money not?
Father: If got money, I will allow you to buy. If not don't buy la. So when you want it?
Me: (IMMEDIATELY!) Erm.. don't know, see first.
Father: (Looking at the Dell Computer advertisment brochure) This one is quite cheap.
Me: Dont want la. So ugly. I want this one (rather expensive)
Father: Hmm..
Then my brother (Hafidz, the first bro) came and took the brochure. I was like WTF. Im so dead. I mean I cannot stand sharing computers and if anyhting happens, im the one to blame. I felt a little guilty. But oh well...

Chaos.

2006-03-05T14:25:00.000+08:00

I'm everything she's not.
accept that fact ohk?

I'm happy with what i have..
Don't create childish remarks about it.
The answer to your answers are simple.
The blind spot is.. you dont want to accept the fact that what im saying is true.
So you kept pinning in points you collected to strike me off.

You make me laugh...
Stop that. It makes me eat my heart out.

You are childish you know that. Ask around la..
GO AHEAD and ask.

My computer screen won't work.
Using my other pc.
Asked dad if i realllly can get my own laptop.
He agreed(: but he says not now.. could be later when?
next two months?
hahaa.. I dont mind when... i'm glad im getting one.

The games she play princess and always win..
It refers to you, evily..
and me.. perfectly.. haha!! whateverrrrrr..

You see.. if you notice.. I'm actually trying my best to be patient..
and it is getting better and better(:
so accept that..
---
Went tuition on friday... went with farhah, irda, khairi and qas.
i wore khairi's cap. that inspires me to buy one for myself.
desperately need to talk to qas about somthing..
hahaa.. farhah.. you must not know.. irda i guess you know what im thinking.

on friday pissed mrs nair.
go to http://deathstalker-.blogspot.com
for more details about sitting arrangement.
whoa suhailah.. semangat sey kau. BAGUUUS!
dont know my english test paper..
maths was like freak la. but at least i know mrs ang will support me(:

mad two layouts for myself but i cant change it because it is saved in my other pc.
haiyoooooo.
what the heckkkkk.

tired

2006-03-01T15:51:00.000+08:00

Im so freaking tired la.
I want to sleep and rest.
my brain won't stop thinking.
hormones going wild.
seriously.. i can't sleep when i want to.
and i slept when im nt suppose to.
what's wrong with me?
test tmr. and its maths. shit!
i havent got any equation right.
ohh well.. will try my best.
HELP ME? anyone?

fuck! i feel so fucked up.
haiyoooo.

hating everything

2006-02-25T19:06:00.000+08:00

Hellos...
Hating life and yes, hating everything.
I wish to be at home forever....
Sick of blogging about everything..
I have seriously no mood to do the dailies.

After the match at SAC, went back to school.
Had super great fun with Farhah and Sarah(:
They kept scaring me.
I hate those things you guys did.
IT IS SCARY OHKAY.
Luckily no nightmare that night.
Roliing an shouting at the parade square.
The band was practicing but who cares?
Their bus came but he wasn't there.
I don't care anymore.
I'm wasting my time right?
Are you worth waiting?
Single but not available.
That's what sarah says...
It sucks.
After that went online.
Chat with PAPA(:
Felt soooo much better man.
Emo people understand each other.
That's the inference i found out. HAHA.

I hate you.
You suck.
You think you are always right is it?
Hate me because I suck?
What about you?

There's exactly no point trying to talk sense to childish people.
They won't understand anyway..
Whatever it is..
You just can't be bothered.
Why do I kept thinking about small matters?
This sucks. My brain wont stop worrying and thinking about stupid things.
I HATE WORRYING. It stops you from having confidence in yourself.
And yes, I lost my self-esteem and self-confidence. I lost my belief in myself.
I lost everything. E V E R Y T H I N G.
Cheers.

i hate all else.

2006-02-23T20:30:00.000+08:00

I HATE EVERYTHING TODAY.
The commont test.
The training.
Today suck la.
Fun also la.
Ohyes.. Saw him like t-w-i-c-e again.
Ofcourse happy la.
And.. I am pissed with you Saiful.
I am so pissed with everyone.
And i hate karangan!
Because it delayed my sleep now.
I HATE EVERYTHING!
except god ans mum and dad.

I WANT TO STAY AT HOME !!
I want to spend time with my dad.
Ohkays. Chaos.

I HATE MATHS!

2006-02-21T15:50:00.000+08:00

[mood sleepy]
[music Dum Diddly - Black Eyed Peas]

Alrights, I'm beginning to hate MATHS e v e r y d a y.
It is so fucking obvious that I'm failing my maths.
WHY THE FUCK THERE ARE NO MORE COMMON TESTS FOR MATHS?
I mean seperate class tests is just so irritating! And I just don't understand the questions at all.
I'm seriously so sick to do class tests. RE-TESTS are just the same. WASTE of time.
SERIOUSLY.

- O.K - nervous breakdown -

I'm starting to like livejournal.
They look so.. professional. Haha.
The only difficulty is, the profile link is kinda BORING.

S-C-H-O-O-L
was SO fun.
It was the day i came back from a week's break.
Many welcomes. Thankyou(:
Was pretty silent before recess.
Still feeling s-i-c-k.
Then got better during recess.
Nadya and Suhailah actually asked the mad guy to buy for us drinks!
I was very, very scared. So I just kept quiet. Terrified la.

Science was PATHETIC. Mrs Chan kept talking like..
a radio with broken switch? OOPS. No offence.
Anyway... CME period was G-R-E-A-T!
Why? Listen to this..
BECAUSE MAN SAYS SO!! Haha. Whoo!!
and the MAN is pronounce like this (m-a-r-n).
which refers to a GUY named NORMAN from sec5.
sorry mr.patrick.
I really can't help it but I want to be your daughter!!
HAHA!
I cried today. Because my stomach was in pain (laughed tooooo much)
seriously.. I thought my stomach would burst at that moment.

After school saw sutra. t-w-i-c-e (:
I still like him. But... I know he won't accept malay girls.
Besides.. I'M NOT A MALAY! HAHA LOSER!
I'm javanese(: yes well I have abit of malay blood.. but so?
My sister has chinese blood.. but so?
I just cannot accept the fact that your mind set is really small.
And serve you right for what happened during that party you discovered the truth about.
to HELPER; whoever you are.. you seem you're not helping me.. so.. SPEAKUP.

I miss my mother ALOT.
I kept crying because I couldn't see her anymore.
I love you mum. Wherever you are.
*I dreamed about her. And i hope to enjoy those times again..

change of mind

2006-02-20T17:05:00.000+08:00

Didn't I say that I'm keeping my new blog a secret?
Well, not anymore. Tired of keeping secret (>.<) hahaa..
Anyways, these few days, I was having flu. Not BIRD flu (choy/touch wood).
It was the most terrible experience. I will never want to get sick at all.. NEVER.
My temperature was 40°C and it was fucking painful.
Sorethroat was like burning stove? Geeez..

Many things happened.. Good and bad..
I don't bother listing them now..
I'm getting ready to go..
TUITION!!!!
WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

love you all(:

gone fore good

2006-02-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

Today, I had such great fun with my cousins.
watched i not stupid 2 again.
more details up soon.

-XTRAGICHOTLIES.BLOGSPOT.COM
&
MISTAKENLOVE-.BLOGSPOT.COM

WILL BE GONE FOR GOOD.
and again, more details up soon(:

{= cheers!!

ART MUSEUM

2006-02-11T09:18:00.000+08:00

Well fistly i would like to talk about the match the C'Div had on Thursday 9/feb.
We played only like 2and1/2 quater. i played the half quater and it started to rain and eventually got heavier. So we had to stop and postponed it. During the match i played, i actually "hugged" the WA (i was playing WD) when i tried defending. It was so NOT ON PURPOSE. But yet. i really have to say sorry. And I did TWICE. or is it THREE times? Hahaa. So guilty. Went back to school and it was prety early. So Farhah came to my house. We designed a blogskin. Based on butterflies and swirls.

On 10/feb.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALDRICH!
hahaa.. He is like forever going to be 2 days younger than me(: and me? Forever 2 days older than him((: hahaa!!

SCHOOL was pathethic.
OHH YEAHH!!

That morning, i wanted to confess to Sutra. But well, he walked pass me and farhah rather very fast. and i think he finds me such itch. so i just think i should drop the subject huh? haish..
When he was near enough so i could call him.. MY voice DID NOT CAME OUT. my mouth was open BUT... nothing came out. urghs. FORGET IT. I'm not going to be bothered by this such things anymore. But still i have like a HUGE CRUSH on him.

as i said, school was so pathetic.
MT, sat with uzair.. and i owe cokgu netti like ALOT OF HOMEWORK. arghss..
SCI, did more experiments. I LOVE SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS. So interesting.... HAHA.
Did i mention that i actually tasted one of the experiment? It was Sodium Chloride solution and it was pumped with electric(electro blablabla) and there was salt on the metal rod.. JUNICE dared me to taste it and i was like joking so i stuck out my tongue and she brought the rod to my tongue!! FREAKED OUT so i licked it back junice's shirt(: HAHA. Well it tasted like salt anyway and IM STILL ALIVE(: so.. no harm done.
RECESS, was like following wherever SAIFUL go. HE and his GANG took my handphone. ASS them. I wanted to see sutra, well i did. same recess every friday. ohh heck.
THEN MATHS. AND BLABLA... so BORINGGGG!!

After that, went to ART MUSEUM. Had like so much fun. WE WERE like SESAT (LOST) but got to the place on time atleast. here are the pics(:

Suhailah & Me in the gallery(:

The besties outside the museum. [HEHEE.. Suhailah is carrying me(:]

Suhailah and Me(: again.

WHEEEEEE!!

Tasha, Suhailah and Me(: oustide the museum.

-----

THEN, we went to LAU PA SAT. AND FREEEEE SATAY.
*Tasha!! i want more satay!!!!! sedap giler!!!!!!
the pics(:

IKAN BAKAR MY FAV(: TASHA AND ME(:

SUHAILAH AND ME(:

I want more fish!!

HAHA!! CASE NAK TERKENCING. (suhailah almost going to pee for laughing)

----

suhailah bought me a billabong wallet for my b'day.
and had a misunderstanding with nad.
i dont want to explain any furthur..
and i dont want to justify my innocence..
because i know.. it is obviously no use.

*//[FATRA]-gic.

MY BIRTHDAY!

2006-02-08T19:39:00.000+08:00

TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!!
HAD LOTSA FUN AT SCHOOL!!
ALOTTT ESPECIALLY AFTER SELF-TRAINING(:

i want to thank all DAMAI NETBALLERS for the organization you guys did for my birthday.
seriously.... it is the bestttttttt.
i never had such "party" like this!!
*more info tmr*

as you see.. im now at home and i did not celebrate with my family for my birthday.
i'm sad because i think my family is like not there for me. only when i need them
my cousins called and sms me to wish me. im so touched. i love you all(:

after that "bathed". me, farhah and irda had water fight in the toilet then outside the rugby boys ask my name.. i said tak tau. i dont want to tell BUT IRDA TOLD THEM MY NAME. urghss!!
when they going home was about smth from the rugby boys but they could not hear.. so heck.
and... talked to khairi abt smth with farhah(: haha

took pics.. and more.. coming soon!!

I GOT A GOLDFISH FOR BIRTHDAY FROM SARAH(:
I GOT COOKIE FROM KAYAN(:
A WALLET FROM THE CHINESE GIRLS IN MY CLASS.
NOTHING FROM HANI):
NOTHING FROM MY TWO BESTFRIENDS):
BUT I UNDERSTAND:)

{i wish my mum was with me.. i love her dearly.. i want to celebrate with her.. haish... * i still cannnot accept the fact that my mum had gone. farfar away. i did not get to say my love to her. i think i'm bad}

LOVE YOU ALL!! THANKS FOR THE BEST BIRTHDAY YOU GAVE ME(:

the match.

2006-02-07T19:28:00.000+08:00

HEES(:
aisah and kak siti came to watch the match.
coach knows kak siti so wellll...
then after that went to starbucks(:
shivered (brrrr... >.<)

but at school-
suhailah was involved in some sort of a "childish fight"
with that freak fat enormous huge fatfatfat a-l-g-e-r.
just because suhailah took his toy top made oout of bottle cap,
he complained to the discipline master. is mr yew the disciline master?
actually i dont care. i dont care about my school much.
i still dont even know my science teacher's name.
got mixed up with the PW teacher and the science teacher.

all swell goes well..
who the hell is HELPER in my tagb?
whoever you are.. what help can you help me?

maths test sure fail..
geo must must PASS.
and yeahh..
my 14th tragedy awaits me tomorrow(:
and there's training. compulsory!! urghss.
i want to celebrate laaa...

i love the bruise on my leg..
it is so nice.
hahaaa.. i wont peel..
bcos i want to keep it.
hope it doesnt heal.
hahaaaaaaa!!

did i miss out anything?
pissed off yesterday.
about untruths and misunderstandings.
and i hate it especially when i dont get to justify myself.
because no one listens.

I D/L more brushes!! cant wait to use them..
arghahahaa..
i love vectorart.
love it millions.
so retro and funkaye(:

PEACE- trademark of the trend (for me la)

[/EDIT] msKY {kaiiyan} is announcing tomorrow. she is gonna gel her hair. hahaa(: hope she do that blurr act of hers. i love it. so cute(: hahahaa.. anyways.. tomorrow.. hw to celebrate?! arghhhh ?!?!?[/EDIT-ED]

=\

2006-02-05T08:50:00.000+08:00

status: STILL ON MINI HIATUS
feeling: UNLOVED, PAIN IN THE HEAD.

i never been blogging much lately..
so i guess i'll blog from 02Feb onwards.
----

02FEB
I HATE MY SISTER!
If she works for herself, then dont stay with us!
who does she think she is?!?! GOD?
super EWW. if she is.. no One will worship her.
besides.. Allah's the best. So i do not need to consider.
HAHA! my sis is a hanyut ~~policewoman~~.

I AM SO STRESSED UP.
My eyes are always red (ohkays not really but it does haappen everday)
Pounding headaches everyday. seriously.
I may look FINE.. but i'm NOT.

I HATE MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING.
but one thing fo sure.. i love my life and my family. (excluding that bithcy sis of mine)

* suhailah saw sutra.. and i didn't. j-e-a-l-o-u-s sey.. but i think im not obsessed with him.
because i know the fact that i will NEVER get him.
-------

03FEB
hahaa.. I GOT 17.5 over 25 for science test.
that so fucking sucks. i could get like 20?
stupid lame mistakes. urghs. i hate them.

after school, went to TM to watch I NOT STUPID TOO (2).
with suhailah, nad and nasthasia.
but first went to food culture for lunch.
and i saw a guy looked like sutra.
only he is thinner and taller? hahaa..
when we got up, they kept looking at us.
i think he's looking at me and nadya.
cause we fought to say who looked more handsome la.
she says that guy more handsome.. but i say sutra(: and.. suhailah supports me!
BLUSH LIKE HELL. he eats like sutra.. his eyes are like sutra. hair also. only he put gel.
haha.. (okok enough)

in the whole cinema.. me and nadya cry the most.
I AM SUPER THE EMO. i cried and sobbed and gasped for air.
and i laughed while crying. that is so weird;i cried when it was when the father was dying.
(reminds me of my mum)
and i cried when the parents read the blog.
an all... everything i cry!

went home after that. (actually went to buy greenpen)
when i was at home.. nadya's mum called me. asking me what we did that afternoon.
i was so freaked out!! i lied and told her the truth as well.. lied about the project and told the truth about the shorts. then called suhailah. then after that. dont know what else i did.
--------

04FEB
had netball training.
and while training.. i fell on the head.
Super PAIN to the super CORE!
had a dying headache. and it lasted for the whole day.
went to doctor, mdm yani sent me.
the she sent me home.
rested for a while and ate medicine.
nadya's mum called me again. so i told her EVERYTHING.

suppose to have alot of rest. but i went out with my aunt and cousins.
(i did'nt want to be left at home alone so i went with them)
went to Kampung JAWA(: heee my masyarakat.
then went bugis. went to bugis street. and the things i want to buy was this bag.
but i cant. so went to buy..
vintage mickey pants worth $53 dicounted to $47.70
and vintage PINK PANTHER tee worth $26 dicounted to $25+?
went home alone after that. my cousins took bus and i took MRT.
at the bedok interchage. got this three minahs. they are younger than me and they so the act big. do you know how i know? their faces so mentah and they are shorter than me. super short. i think sec1s? went home and there's this cute guy sat near me. but im sticking to sutra. hahaa..

WHATEVER!!
my head still hurts. but i guess.. i'll just go with the flow..
BYEE Y'ALL.
<'3fatragic:(

-.-"

2006-01-30T16:17:00.000+08:00

status: mini hiatus
feeling: dizzy, pain, sad, lost.

haha. eating toasted bread. nice(:
just finished studying science.
its like 2 hours of science without stopping.
no wonder i got this pounding headache.
there's no food at home. so HUNG-ARY.

tomorrow going bugis with irda and i guess farhah and sarah(:
hope its gonna be super fun. well.. we're gonna study for the upcoming common test.
hopefully.. we dont crap in between(:

yesterday was my mum's 40th "eherms" ceremony?
yerp. i thought i would dream of her for the last time and all that..
but it did not happen. haish.
i hate myself for what happened. so i wish i never exist.
but i did. and i'll thank god for that(: hahaaa..
i'm gonna be a fashionista soon. hopefully.

byee. love you all. love ibu and allah loads.
{/FATRA-gic.

first creation

2006-01-29T17:02:00.000+08:00

i created this with Illustrator and imageready. hahaaa(:

sick of it.

2006-01-29T15:57:00.000+08:00

STATUS: still on HIATUS.
haha mini hiatus?

IM SICK OF LOVE.
I SUCK AT LOVE.
I CANT HELP IT.
HELP ME MUMMY.
HELP ME ANYONE?
I HATE LIVING IN A WORLD WITHOUT LOVE.
IM UN-LOVED.
seriously.
i hate everyone. everything. myself.
i just love my mum and god and that's all.
whats the use to live in this world.

im stressed up. developed one strand of white hair.
darkdark wrinkles around my eyes.
and sighing alot.
thinking till my brain explodes.
and i hope soon.
i cannot control it anymore.

super EMO
<'3fatra:(

ON HIATUS

2006-01-28T20:18:00.000+08:00

ON HIATUS!
hellos guys.
sorraye for not blogging that much.
my internet got probs with the connections.
anyways.. i will be on hiatus for a few weeks.
so expect me not to be blogging much.
maybe if i get to blog.. i guess.. a short post?

played with broadrick sec.
WD- at last. haha..
the orang putih player so menyampah.
but oh well. i screamed like twice.
haha!! anyways. as told. im posting this short.

You know why I deny all those lies you call facts?
BECAUSE I DID NOT LIE TO YOU.
nvm. they are all in the past.
just PLEASE put this in mind.
I WILL NEVER LIE SUCH THINGS TO YOU.

nowadays, i dont feel like going out. not that i'm lazy or what.
it is just that my mom's 40th day is coming. so i expect myself to be at home most of the times.
people are getting angry at me for not going out with them. those who wanted to come to my house please understand. my house going to have a kenduri. even if i promised you i have to break them. FORCED to break. sorry kays?

HE looks at me as if he hates me. so i will just let the time flow like expected. i dont wish to get hurt by love. because im already hurt with family love. got hurt with friendship love but it back on track(: so i dont think i want to think of him so much. if he hates looking at me. then dont stop running into me. because it hurts to look at you. not that i hate you. it just reminds me that i CANNOT have you.

I WANT MORE CLOTHES! IM SO IN NEED OF THEM(:
MY BIRTHDAY!! 8 FEB MUST RMBER KAYS((: hahaa..

i love you more than the need of air.
more that the thrist for water.
more than anything i wished for.
but i guess if i lose you. i lose everything else i have.
then maybe we'll draw a thin red line.
a boundary of love away from obsession.
- stop making me go wild. with your look of hatred to me.
ihateyoutoomuch'causeilovedyou so.

pics(: took on the later days.
ohkays.. some are hard to load.
so more on up later ohkays?
BUSY BUSY with tournaments.

byee.
<'3FATRA(:

HAHA.

2006-01-23T18:09:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA!
Laughed till my intestines were about to blow off.
seriously. can't stop.
buried the hatchet. yerp on sunday.
did a project. for a tiny second only. what freak.
bought two tshirts. sort off.
WILL REPOST(:

fucking things happen.

2006-01-21T09:16:00.000+08:00

alrito. never had recess so fun nowadays.
get to eat. and at least never starved to death.

firstly, fucking things happened. how smart.
translate this:
when fucking things happen, vntoetbjonee.
got the message? well sometimes they happen for a cause if you want to know.
you are luckier than me in terms of priority one of life. but im more luckier than you in terms of priority two of life. don't know what that means? HA-HA.

after school went to help 2e6 do their class deco.
then ate. and sabo farhah. then met irda after her dance.
slack to 530+ pm. hahaa.. irda wants to blanjer me but she blanjer me 40 cents. HAH!
how i love them.

even what they say about you is true.
are you proving this?

thanks to all who asked about me when i was sheding tears for nothing but nothing.
OH HOW I HATE SELENA THAT FAT FRIEND OF MINE.
you have only two . i got more(:
when the queen's talking, she uses herself. not the heart.
how inhuman. such gays would do this? hahaa!

byee.
' look at me, then suffocate for air.

whats wrong?

2006-01-19T20:46:00.000+08:00

played GD.
we won bedok green.
score is a secret. suprise only.
hahhaa..

have you ever thought of my feelings?
well maybe you will want to ask me that.
but seriously i do. but what can do with your response?
in the end i did forgive you. and now? what do you really want?
can we just be normal? change your attitude abit ohkay?
sometimes you have to ask this ques yourself not to the person you want to change.
if you want to change that person, change yourself.
others even say so.
what we are doing to each other, is so immature. so lets start afresh.
if you dont agree on this. i know what kind of person you are.
and i wont spoil your reputation with that.
all im saying, in case you dont catch the ball, and before you intrepret wrongly.
i just wish, we would stop doing this to each other.

i have lotsa friends. and i consider most of them my best.
and i know you have too. but dont neglect one and go to another.
at least keep it balance.

i dont understand why i have to give in to many people.
am i being to kind? why are people taking advantage of my kindness?
shall i be mean? i dont know whats wrong with him and her.
freakshit la. i cant take this shit anymore.

recess finally get to eat. saw him. but he didnt look at me.
oh well. i guess. im giving up on love. no use man. i suck at love. seriously.
more and more people know my secret. and farhah(FARSYA) and me(FASU) kept saying "DA LOOOVE" hahaa.. oh well.. i guess it is fun to have many friends. but when the problem comes. the pain really hurts like fuck.

3 days account

2006-01-18T21:06:00.000+08:00

16 January, Monday.
Today was meant to be SELF-TRAINING. But unfortunately Mr.Bok came. Everyone changed attitude from clumsy and hyper to super serious and quiet. Had court game. Farhah didn't came so i took her place as GD. Super tired to the max. My lungs were freaking tight. But i hold on. I was enjoying actually(: Dismissed quite early. About 5.45pm around there. Walked with KeXin:) talked about our problems and all. Oh yeahs. Ate her Kima* (curry) she cooked during HomeEcons class. Then we went home.

17 January, Tuesday.
Really love what happened today man!! Went to school with Farhah as usual and left Rizal. Had Mother Tongue. Then Art. I DESIGNED 4 PEOPLE'S SKETCH BOOK. Haha.. they asked me(:
Assembly was freaking boring. After school, went to Bedok to ulter our jersey. After ulter, rained.. so we ran to across the road to the bustop. Took 69 to TM. Sat with Syaz and we talked ALOT. Farhah and Irda was like sit there and stone. Haha! Then i kept losing my things. But found it in a suprise in my bag. HAHA. LAUGHED TILL MY ASS RAN OFF. Went shopping. Then to LONG JOHN SILVER. Ate there. THEN LAUGH TILL THE WHOE LEVEL CAN HEAR. HAHAA.. Farhah wet her jeans. Me? I mantain.. haha.. There.. We discovered something(: the "Haaaaaaaa!" foundation there. And laughed as if the world belonged to us(: We also discovered that Syaz and me(: are of same species. We kept speaking the same words at the same time. Haha..
Then we took neos. Very super nice(: i will scan that as soon. I fell in love with this CONVERSE HIGH-CUT SHOES. It features a hotpink punk symbol. Super neat. I want!!!! My birthday please(: hahaa.. then went back home(:

18 January, Wednesday.
SENIORS HAVE GAME TODAY. GOOD LUCK FOR THE REST OF THE GAME GUYS(:
Today in class.. laughed at Suhailah's sarcastic "yes" hahaa.. Then recess, I got pissed with her. Because.. Because.. Nah-uhh. Too private(: After school, saw super silk* smiling like mad. i know. Went to pass Kexin(:'s jersey. Went to TM again with the same FREAKS of yesterday. Farhah went off early. So, Syaz, Irda and me went to eat and bought stuffs. Went to NTUC to buy netball food for tomorrows match. and then went home(: was fun also today hahaaa(: love my firends ALOT.

TOMORROW.
OUR MATCH with Bedok Green. Hopefully. We win. Hopefully I get to play WD. And yeah.
<3damai>. Good luck ALL!!!!!

match with nanhua

2006-01-14T20:41:00.000+08:00

had match with nanhua. we won but not sure of the score.
played WD. and hope to play WD for life(: loving it.
but hasinah always plays first. the next quater then i play.
ohh well, still i get to play(:

after that, went to canteen and eat(: FREE FOOD.
Because there's alot of ppl taking bursary certificates.
I SHOULD GET! but my family income is more than $3000.
so goodbye hardwork. oh well.

ate dry mee siam. and wan ton.
i want cheesecake!! oh my. they had it ealier that afternoon.
they threw it away. wtfkcu man.
ishk!! all of those who dont like cheesecake are suckers!
EXCEPT if the one you eat is not baked properly.
oh well..

grandma cried dont ask why.
i almost fell into the toilet bowl this morning. dont ask why.
ohk.. byee(:

fridaye.

2006-01-13T18:49:00.000+08:00

wheees(: just finished a new layout.
nice norts? anyways. today friday no training.
so after school went toTM to buy cikgu's stuff.
then went home.erms. made this skin la.
not much happen la. but during recess erm.. abit..
well.. how shall i say it?

nadya and suhailah made it obvious. oh well.
so sad suhailah said we are meant to be seperated and
fated with a guy i bumped to. sheeesh.
and yeahs. im not MRS NAIR'S PET.
she just happens to be my friends tcher. so what can i do mans?
and i smtimes find her abit irritating. kept talking till can't concerntrate.
sheeeshh.

anyways. rushing this testi later my bro come i'm DEAD =X
SYAM'S A BOBA my dear hani. no offence darl. just trying to get on to your nerves.
and yeah. sorry for shouting at you. i hate it when you kick my chiar ESPCIALLY WHEN IM TIRED.
hahaha.. anyways.. erms.. i like him to bit man. he makes me melt.
can we just like.... OH FORGET IT.
dearest AIDIL. your blog is almost done. just really not finished(:
you bastard.

2006-01-10T10:44:00.000+08:00

HAHA.
just now.. my grandma asked my bro what is a playboy.
HAHA!!

alrights. so stressed up. i feel as if i'm having highblood pressure?
geeez. im so youngg. haha.
SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI(:
got so many things to do.
urghs! im trying to work out how the W/D part.
i dont want to get scolded. but i wish i could try harder..
injured. sheesh.

whats wrong with them?
they never ever listened to me once.
and yet have the bladdy guts to deny and not admit it?

you are treating me like a spare tyre.
so obvious you are calling me a stalker.

you just dont know whats my intention.
so stop accusing of such disgrace to my sort.

you are trying to pluck my brain out.
stop it.

i hate you people. i just hate you.
espcially those who treat me like as if im a piece of fucking sucker.
im not. dont believe. then believe othe shit.
im sick of you people. who thinks im in need.
i am. but at least sincerely be there.
sucker.

and DONT ASK ME WHO I'M REFFERING TO.
IM SO GONNA GET PISSED. YOU KEPT SUCKING MY LIFE UP.

2006-01-09T19:50:00.000+08:00

WHAT?!
TODAY NEVER SEE HIM AT ALL x(
ARGHS!
haha. ohkays. nemind.
whoa today talked about him to
wanyu and jessica alot sia.
harhar. was pretty interesting.
lols. they want to help me get his number for me.
but.. well.. i dont really think anything will ever happen between us.
so.. just forget it. but still.. i like him alot.
poor him. i know his ex more than he does. iskisk.
ohkays larh.

today netball. defence was really confusing. but i will try harder.
farhah can see very fucked up. relax kays. she's one funny pig.

AT LAST

2006-01-08T18:48:00.000+08:00

AT LAST!
Finally i can blog.
haha. was super busy lately.
erm well.. i was busy with netball trainings.
so people.. i won't be arnd yeahs?
ermm.. well..
last thursday got CCA EXIBITION.
was really proud of myself X=
haha. i promoted some of them to join.
especially this sec 1 girl.
she from CHIJ Katong. whoa.
can see she's talented.
anyways.
RUSHING LIKE MAD DOG.
with my holidaye homework haha!
well people. was lotsa fun at the exibition.
can see HIM. haha. HE sees ME(:
o0o0ohhh..
hahaha(: hes so cute. my teddy.
lols/ byeee.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

2006-01-03T17:36:00.000+08:00

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
HAHA! Was super fun.
Firstly, I can't sleep. Was tooo excited.
So i woke up shivering and went to bathe with cold water.
So while bathing, many goosebumps start to appear.
Freakaye. So went to change and was pretty early after that.
So i went to tidy the kitchen mess i made yesterday.
Haha. That is not throwing the Mac Donald's plastic bag.
Was suppose to go to school with rizal today. But he was late.
So i went to school with suhailah and her sis Sakinah(:
Waited Nadya at the Fountain there.
Then assembled at the Parade Square. look at all the sec1s.
Semuer kebanyakan ciner. mlayu tak sgt la. they all look so nerdy haha.
Then aleh aleh satu budak mlayu ni jeling kat aku sia. Aper aku buat?
Da lah pakai CULLOTES. pendek lak tu. jgn la nak jeling pat aku.
haishh nemind. still young and innocent. haha.

So went got spot check i quickly tied my hair lols.
Among Hani, Farah, Tasha, Nadya, Suhailah and me, only suhailah and me got to sit down.
because our attire is satisfyingly acceptable. haha. Then went back to our NEW class.
level2 and at the same block as our previous block. (my fav. block.)

Had lessons. All so funny. Haha. Love this coming new year. i sat with tasha and tasha and i hid nad's pencil case. lols. ubt in the end she found it (during combined assembly)

At combined assembly. sat at the gallery and behind us was zaki and sayyidi. irritating sah dorang. then while the principle and mr. raja explain BORING stuffs, we sorta joked. Laugh and Laugh. hahas. talked about nad's love life. lols!

went home with nad. actually i went to my granmum's hse since noOne was at home. Took 21 and drop at the Safra there. waited bus 28 so long but so the packed. so took 65. suhailah went to tm withouht us. oh well. while waiting for another bus. (bus 65) got this group pf ITE guys la. ISK. benci sak. they say "Hai.. budak sec 1" then i replied "Sec2 la bodoh." isk.. geram sa. you think what i itsy bitsy small huh? i know im younger than you. but atleast i dont act kakak2 like those i saw merater rater pat singapore.

so sook 293 at the tampines inter. then behind us was this mlayu nyer budak. sklah aper ntah. i thot he was chinese sah. then i asked nad loudly "budak blakang kiter tu ciner ke mlayu?" then she said "mlayu" sial la malu.. but the MORE MALU THING WAS. Nadya "fell" in the bus. haha. well not exactly. she luckily griped the bar and S W I N G. haha! she said she was malu. but well.. i said. mantain mantain. haha she dropped off first. Then i drop off WITH THE GUY BEHIND US. then what happen? cannot tell you la all. very the personal. haha. but obviousla.. he was waiting for me(: lols!

Alrights. today finishing off my homework. So i will do all the LINKING on weekends ohkays?
TOMORROW GOT TRAINING. Oh well. Zonals are coming. GOOD LUCK TO ALL DAMAI NETBALLERS AND HENDERSON NETBALLERS. <333>

ohnoooo

2006-01-01T17:14:00.000+08:00

Still homework not done. HAHA!
I want a DOMAIN.
Seriously. But i think i have no chance to get hosted.
My graphic skills are super bad. Haha.
Not a pro.
But still I WANT A DOMAIN.
One thing.
I HAVE NO CLUE WITH PHP.
So, I'm busted. Haha.
OFF TO MY PROJECT.
(not exactly. i want to make more blogskins. hahas!)
requests? nah-uhh. i'm afraid my "clent" hates it.
so.. just be like it is.

TAG REPLIES:

DEEYAN: A blog hopper in your blog? haha. yeah. i am? fatin?
JANNAH: haha(: ohkay. is the link correct now?
A.L.I.S.A.T.A.N: hellos! sure(: i really love too(:
NIAH: HELLO! Linked you up already(:
SKWIRREL: I'm in need of homework help!
AUDREYTAN: linked(:
ISHA: Thanks. You're linked too(:
IRDA: LINKED(:
----
I HATE HOLIDAY HOMEWORKS.
finally(:

oh no.

2005-12-31T12:28:00.000+08:00

OHNO. 2 more days till that boring school reopens.
oh well. my homework still undone =x
first time. i STUBORNLY refused to do my homework.
tell you what. seriously no time.
and yeahs.

NEW LAYOUT. NEW DOMAIN(:
how's the layout? haha.

TAG REPLIES:
thanks to those who gave condolences abt my mum(:
thanks to those who comment about my layout(:
those who want to x-change links. will link you up as soon(:
THANKS THANKS THANKS.

ysterday night. rizal became my mr midnight. haha.
aidil too tired off. kesihan. but still i dont believe. haha.
sarah. was worried. and i know how it feels. but be strong girl(:
---
my bill was $87
bro says on january. if it exceeds $35. he will take my sim card.
so ppl. call my home. haha. now that there's a phone in my bedroom.
there's no need to hesitate(:
but still. hopefully my hp won't get confisicated.
---
HOMEWORK NOT DONE.
OHH NO.

so longgg.

2005-12-29T12:27:00.000+08:00

hellos there everyone. it's been quite a long time ehh?
anyways, i guess next year is a VERY stressful year for me espcially if your mom is forever not with you.
i have to do laundry for everyone and also.. do the dishes every night before i sleep.
my hands are superr dryy.. and i was so tired out i always wake up at 10am.
now.. nobody is gonna watch tv with me. nobody's gonna watch korean love drama with me.
nobody's gonna be at home waiting for me. nobody's gonna be there wheni walk out of the door everyday i go school. there's just nobody. i feel so ABSOLUTELY INCOMPLETE. half of my body is gone. haish..

yesterday.. my sis went out with her b/f. she bought for me gallaz jacket!! she bought for me a skirt and a surfergirl 2006 calendar!! oh YAY! she bought my first bro etnis/DC shoes and my second i think t-shirt. whoa. nothing for my dad. i feel sorry. but i'm sure gonna buy my dad a present(: soon. that is also.. if i have money. which i dont =x. haha. i think i'm going to make blogskin's again!! yipeee.. tell you why. [BORED that's why] still havent finish my hmwrk yet.

*i wont really blog so much.. because my bro discourages me too.. he say ppl who blog often have low communication skills. is that true? i think not. becauseee.... i have many ke zillion friends! haha. GOT A CORDLESS PHONE IN MY ROOM. SO I CAN CALL YOU GUYS UP HAHA! still missing that buddy who calls me late at night arnd 11pm/12pm/1 am. where ae you? ohh well.. maybe he found his special one. so gotta keep quiet. im thinkim looking for one. but im not desperate. why? because i think its not really a must. it's just something you need. and want.

stilll.. i miss my mum. love her dearly.

tag replies

2005-12-25T11:58:00.000+08:00

TAG REPLIES:

SHAFIQAH&LIA : alrites.. later la. link you guys up if i free.
AISAH: it sure is! haha oh yeahs. thanks for coming to the hospital. such good laughi had with you(:
SARAH: that's ohk. as long as you are happy, im HAPPY!
HANI: me crapping again? who say that?! who let the cat out of the bag?! ohno!
FYTRIE: HELLOS! things are great. thanks for the concern(:
---
AIDIL: heys. why you never come online huh? anyways. got smth important to tell you but i guess.. oh well. who's that alien? why do you want to know so much? i thought you know already. is not as if you care right? haha.

mami death

2005-12-25T11:38:00.000+08:00

i hate myself for what had happened to my family.
my beloved mother, mami passed away on 21 dec at 6.41am in the hospital.
seriously, i feel like killing myself. well i can't say much now. cant use computer so much too.
my mum discourages that so i will follow her wish. she doesn't allow me to buy a laptop because she doesn't wants me to waste money, so i will follow her wish. i will do as she tell me last time. because i guess i dont want to feel sad abt it. i just hope shes fine in her grave. right now. i just feel that there's nothing else left to do. all i can do now is to make her feel happy. like pray and all those stuffs. i dont want her to be tortured in her grave. (what muslims believe). im now stuck with my homewrok and i seriously need help! HELP ME PPL! before she passed away, i wrote her a letter telling her that she is the best mother i ever had. compared to other mums. seriously. but i cant tell her that. i was tooo late. haish.

all i have to say now,, is that my mum is the best mum in the whole world and that nobody can object to that!
i love my mum always. and i will never forget her.

2005-12-19T19:40:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD! I BURNT TWO FINGERS WHILE TRYING TO COOK NUGGETS. HAHA I BURNT IT NEAR THE OVEN LOLS(:

CHANGING SKINS SOON.
WONT BE USING LOTS OF COMPUTER.
BECOS I HATE THE SIGHT OF IT.
WONT DOING SKINS. UNLESS I WANT TO.
& I STILL HAVE NOT DONE MY FCKING HOMWORK!
OH!! fck MEEE!!

sorry.

2005-12-19T18:57:00.000+08:00

ohks. NADYA i'm sorry. i admit I AM STUPID for not realising that YOU ARE HELPING ME.
oh yeahs. and to SUHAILAH. IM SORRY. if you dont accept my apologies, then i can't do anyhting else. .. i'll pay $7 bucks. but do you have to make me feel so bad? btw you tell me when then i'll pay. you all said on MONDAY. when I GOT NETBALL? how am I suppose to go?

to day played defence. WOHOOOS! i like it! i am very comfortable with GK, GD, WD. yeahs!! no more attackers. seriously. i tend to stress alot in attacking. but i LOVE DEFENCE.

im sorry for being such a fucking bad daughter. ohh fuck. i hate myself alot yesterday. fuck me. haha sorry. really. and yeahs. i love my brother. he sacrificed his ZEN NEEON for me. He told me to follow and make my mother happy as much as i could. And yeahs. i fucking showed attitude to my mum because she did not allow me to buy me laptop. i finally realise.. f i n a l l y. after my brother wrote me that 3 page letter. i feel so bad. i feel so bad for being so fucking bad! i love my family and sorry for being such a useless ass in the family.

i'm really happy today. because damai C division netball sorta trash NanHua, Riverside, Tanglin, Henderson, TK. did i miss out? haha and i played GD, WD! yeahs.. i like it. alottttttt (: ate grapes. haha who wants apples?! i hate apples. shiaaat. ihavent finish one fcking hmwrk yet at all. alrights. i'm finishing my written work like erms.. oh well .. just finishing as much as i can.. but yeahh. I AM LIKE SO TIRED!!!! HAD LOTSA FUN AT THE NETBALL MINI CARNIVAL AT SCHOOL. I LOVE ALL DAMAI NETBALLERS BCOS I KNOW THEY ROCKS TO THE MAX! HAHA. <33 LOVELYS.

PS: i am going to throw away all my childish attitudes. and will try to be more patient with you guys. sorry for being sucha toot to you. SORRRRAAAYEEE!! * CHEER UP SARAH(: * GOOD WORK DAMAI NETBALLERS. * I LOVE MY FAMILY! yes.. i finally saying this. i am VERY LUCKY. thanks GOD(:

yelar tuu

2005-12-17T19:28:00.000+08:00

yalar yalar. good thing i read you dsughudhg blog you fadjgjadeb. i throwing tantrums?! you fadbgueab. any proof i got throw? oh my fcking fbeauibtenu. i cannot be bothered with ppl who only knows to think of oneself. klau teraser. tu kau nyer pasal la.

today was sooo fun!! went out with kak dinah, sarah and irda to national library. ohmy.. it was so0o huge.. but quite irritating la.. the books at the top levels are all locked. haha irda said it was top security. haha. the cam got prbs so cant take pics. erms. before that. i was late meeting them because i took the jersey from alia. haha. the size was Medium. i wear Small. oh well no choice. then after library we laughed our lungs out. so damn funny!! then while sitting outside Han's, we saw this girl knocking her head at the pillar. how cool was that?! haha. after that. went to tampines metro to buy sports bra for netball carnival. lols. oopss. sorry ehh.. tak censored.. while we were looking at the details of the product.. there's three mats walk pass. they all laughing at us. but we dont care. what for malu? we are buying things we need. then the last one smiled at me. then just smile la. haha i love to smile. really. that time go hospital got this eurasian guy smiled at me. then i smile la. haha!! so kind.. so friendly. then after that ate. wahhh.. so niceeee. thanks kak dinah for blanjer-ing us (: then supposed to go bowling.. but tak jadi. sarah can't go but that's ohk. after all.. i had such gooood fun together with you guys. thanks for the smile you brought to me (: so yeah.. feeling.. yeahyeahyeah. haha(: i really like the sports bra that we bought. bcos, it wa brought with fun and laughter ( hehee.. " eeee" ) lols. seriously. i bought it with such fun. haha. love ya guys alots <33*

they shud know

2005-12-16T09:31:00.000+08:00

they should know. it is so obvious. why ask me stupid questions? even if it wasn't stupid, the answers are pretty obvious. it is all drawn on my face. look at me and take a knife called ego then use it to slit your veins off. i'm not going to brag how i feel or what really happened last night. because it might turn out fucking bad. im not going to hold any grudges so i will speack the truth. i will not try to pick a fight but will just talk it out. so i'm not going to shout or what. i'm not going to use exclaimation marks " ! " to express anger and to convince someone. i will try not to vent my anger. because venting anger is not the answer. crying yourself out is one way to get over it. because there will be someone there to cheer you up. on the other hand, if you vent your anger, who the hell dare to console you? for sure your face got slapped. don't tell me you going to treat that person $30 over dollars? and treat her food? bring her home? look you.. it is not a point of just jealousy. It is a point where you were being left out. those fights we had about being there for each other. don't tell me you didn't learn from it? i'm not blaming just you. i'm not blaming anyone of you.. i just want to justify that i'm not just jealous. there are mixed emotions all in me. this little problem is not all i have. i have more. well forget it. i agree.. i think you should go out with her more than me ohk? i play it your way. after you are satisfied and need me (realllly need me) then i'll come. since you o n l y went out with her twice.. then go to the library with her alone. i'm giving you this chance so don't come barging in and saying why i should be jealous and all.. and the other side of the prob.. the person i hate.. well.. you never asked you never know.. if you really want to know why i'm so sad about.. is that the plans we disscused.. were being put into picture incomplete. the pther piece was replaced. yet you sacrificed things that you are not encouraged to. anndd.. ohh forget it.. if you want to know just ask. if you barge in.. the barge out. if you feel offended.. no need to. i'm just telling you how i feel.. not how i feel about you.

yesterday.. while watching cris angel, i did housework. that is to fold the clothes. laundry stuff. then after that went to room and i cried. sarah called. told her my probs. then cried for no fcking reason. i really need that person now. he always made me happy. haish. oh forget it.

this morning damn funny. i woke up in the morning. then my sis came home. she slept at the corridor. she mad la she. got home and bed to sleep dont want. i think i lock her out that's why. haha. then after that she asked me if my dad was at home then i said la.. i thought he go work. so she ask me to order MC Donald's. then ordered already may dad came home. He bought us breakfast. then my sis and i was like "errr.. oh no!" so we kept quiet. not to upset my dad, i ate prata egg he bought. then he went to the kitchen to do laundry. then my sis paid the Mac delivery man and hid it at the table drawer we were eating. (the drawer is kinda big so don't think it's those tootsy small ones) then after i ate. i quickly ate the hotcakes with sausage. in front of my dad! but the funny thing is he didn't realise!! XDD haha!!! then i looked at my sis.. then i laughed.. then when he saw.. he joked with me " wahh.. next time i easy no need to buy " haha.. then i laugh and laugh. well if you dont find it funny.. no need to laugh. bcos.. if you were in my hse.. you would roll on the floor.. haha ohkay. lame.

so ate.. shower. went for netball training. played GK. and was really comfortable with it. i wish to play GK for now on. really. i feel real great. haha. shower or should i say "rinse" then ate grapes at the parade square. haha.. walked home with kaiyan. she's mad like maddd... went home and here i am. so alrights. aidil spoiled my mood. tears fall.. but then it stopped. oh who cares. so pissed off with him. but whaat for sia? ohkk. gtg go eat. byeee.

unwell.

2005-12-15T10:51:00.000+08:00

haish.. was felling pretty unwell last night. i felt like throwing up. don't know what has gone into me. went back home from mum's hospital by brother's bike. followed dad's journey to home. was kinda long and boring. was almost going to sleep at bro's back. haha. then my bro had a chance to speed haha. niceee.. 100km/h or was is 100mph? well the fastest i ride with him was 110mph. serious.. i like it. the feeling as if your life is at the edge. reached home.. ate dinner. haha was late arnd 9.30pm+. erms. then watched kill bill. to me.. the movie was rather amusing.. haha. alrights. erms.. then was too tired.. i went up the stairs to shower. and like ermm.. i felt a little giddy.. the feeling of throwing up like that. so i just endure it. went to bed straight. suddenly arnd 12.22am aidil called. haha. then had nothing to talk about we put down. so i went to sleep.
then now in the morning suppose to go sarah's hse to do hmwrk. and thenn.. she can't confirm.. then my dad sorta scolding me not to confirm at the last minute. haish.. then all of the sudden she scold me. scold or not also.. i felt offended you know. the way and the things yousaid in your sms me hurt me alot. it made me feel as if i did something wrong. look sarah.. you think to much.. you think out and out of the box. beyond the truth. that scares me. you bring no anger into my life... but saying this things to me make me think that I, MEMEME makes you feel differently.. tell me sarah what did i done wrong?? even if i did. I'm very sorry.. guesss it's best not to have friends sometimes.. its even best not to live my life here.. since i made ppl feel so bad alot.

------

[SARAH = whatever you did to me these few days.. i was rather more happy than ever.. after they leave me stranded just like that.. behind my back. knowing the truth on your own really hurts alot. but you made me realise that there's no need to care about the truth so much.. because things change. and those things are that my sad freaking moments change into happyhappy days with you. you know how much i smiled in my sleep eversince i went out with you? well if you dnt knw. now then you knw. i just can't believe that you want to end our friendship like this. just running away from me. running away from me i think you called your problem. i dont want to be your problem because i want to be the one there for your problems. but it seems i cant. why sarah? i guess because and maybe i'm the one giving you problems. alright.. i'll stop. let me just continue my freaking life with them since you dont wanna be right here wih me. bye.}

-----

my life is in a mess.
i cant clean it up.
i guess i should end here.
feeling so all so fcked up.

alrights

2005-12-14T12:31:00.000+08:00

alrights.. before i go for netball training today.. maybe i'll just post ohkays? hmms.. i really didn't know yesterday had friendsly match with Nanhua. we trashed them damai to nanhua. 32 - 7. whoas. good thing we won. erms.. i think today also haff match.. i sense la. bcos syaz told me coach wanna know who will be coming. obvious isn't it? alrights. erm .. this morning dad cooked. was fine with it. watched APPLESEED with sis. she bought LG dvd/vcd player. was rather slim and yeah.. i love it. haha. Is it just me, or is it ME ME ME that this 1028 x 742 res. white box iinfront of me is getting boring each and everyday i look at it?! haish.. probably because i have no freaking ADOBE PHOTOSHOP. (pc just reformated) but i founf Illustrator CS and two versions of photoshop in my bro's CD case. haha!! will ask him to install pretty soon. so.. here i am typing as fast as i could. had a new layout. not going to do anymore layouts for blogskins.. but will take requests. haish.. i dont even think i can do requests. maybe.. for a short term? erm.. so i will just admire other blogskinners doing their work at blogskins. at last today.. the skins of the day is something very satisfying. OH MY FSHIAT. opps.. sorry.. I HAVENT STARTED DOING MY HMWRK. but heck tmr i'll be going to sarah's hse right early in the morning to do with her. haha. so no sweat. even if i have to delay my hmwrk. i have a very good plan how to run away from it. still.. i must ace my powerpoint history presentation project. i have a reputation to hold you know. haha and i'll try my best to buck up in my malay language which i very suck at by trying to get a malay book to read! haish.. im struggling hard. still i have rizal and somebody else to help me [= geee.. thanks you guys. OHKAY! OFF TO SEE SARAH. I'LL BET TODAY GOT MATCH. IF NOT SO.. I THINKI WILL STILL SUFFER TODAY =[ i suck at netball. realllyyy.

2ndd

2005-12-12T14:44:00.000+08:00

since my previous post cant load the neos. i load it here [=
** oh yeahs.. SHIAT. I HAVE NO ADOBE!!!! ARGHS!!

today had to go to mum's hospital. so cant go netball. haish.

yahooo!

2005-12-12T13:31:00.000+08:00

WHEEEES!!!
Last Saturday [10December] was SoOoO FUNN!!
After netball training [match with Henderson] at Kallang, me and SARAH
shower after the Hendersonians showered art the shower room.
Sarah kept disturbing them while they were showering XDD!
After that I showered first. Sarah was afraid the Hendersonian netballers disturb her x]!!
Then after that, damai C'ds [us] went to KFC.
Only Rachel and Seet Leei went to eat.
Me and Syaz bought cheese fries. Haha.
----my fave!
then we went around go PMK and Rachel bought a PMK sleeveless tee. DAMN NICE.. haha
met Sarah's sis and yeahss.. at MAC. then Rachel went home.. Me, SARAH and sarah's SIS went to Fareast Plaza. I bought a ZINC Bag there with sarah.. she bought the same. damn freaking long but i like.. cos got eagle.. But who cares right.. Maybe another day i going out with SARAH again!! Wheees!! my patner in crime.. My best friiend [= .. then at Fareast ate there.. going down that time I saw my brother.. phewww.. wat a coincidence. like d'uhh i tegor. i not sombong ley.. ahaha.
Then took neos again [= me and Sarah ~!
here they are..

fuck you bitches.

2005-12-09T15:55:00.000+08:00

I don't know whether it's me or you fcking guys.
I think the problem lies on you fcking freaks.
I hate you. You jdhgsubjg. You cause me to say this.
Have you though of my feelings? i guess not.

I have a dark blog. Where all my secrets are all exposed there.
Only a few knows the pass to that blog.
And well.. I told my bestfriend this morning.
I think she deserves to read it. haha.
No one else will know that secret pass.
If you want to know.. ask me and try your freak luck.
People who are sure to read is well.. hani, sarah, rizal and more.
but definitely not you or you. haha. saper teraser.. tau takper (=

last night before i sleep, i cried. I wonder why ppl are doing this to me.
i hate them. are they trying to blow my brain up? go ahead fuckers.
i have my patience. for i, only follow what my mums says. XD!
i cried till my tears turned red, till my pillow were soaking wet.
I cried till my nose were blocked and here i am.. dying without you knowing.

giff up.

2005-12-08T10:06:00.000+08:00

alrights. good morning ppl.
last night was freeakkaye.
i was the only 1e4 pupil to go for the dental checkup yestrday.
and well it turned out fine.. =
only that 2 of my baby teeth got extracted!! o.O
ARGHHH!! well it was shaking though. so why not pull it?
first. she cleanse my mouth and she well..polished it i guess. :X
so much better. XDD.
then i kept one of the extracted tooth.
the other was like split into two.. so what for haff it rights?
wow. it does hurt abit. but the feeling was absolutely relieving.
and the feeling of relief just soothes your mind ; )

just found out that my pc upstairs cant use!!!!!
Photoshop CS2 all gone! fuck man.
fuck!! relaks relaks. gonna get my own pc/laptop.
i still havnt got them i think like a week before christmas :)
hehehs.. then i can haff all the softwares i want.
I guess i just get a laptop. to save space. but it is not as powerful as pc.
soo... still reconsidering.

IM GIVING UP WITH BLOGSKINS.COM
i am not going to do blogskins anymore.
really.. i give up.
why? i am actually not happy with the taste of ppl nowadays.
i mean the skins of the day is like not really satisfying. why?
that skin can sometimes be so ugly how come can be chosen as skins of the day??
fine forget it. i am giving up. if i submit also.. i submit because..
i haff nothing else to do. since my photoshops are down.. i haf no other choice.
so i guess life with computer just suck sometimes..
~~when civilised ppl cant reallyknow how to be civilised.~~
no offence. sorry. i guess i'll do requests.

regrets.

2005-12-07T10:18:00.000+08:00

freakfreak.
my gosh!! life is so freaking boring!! T.T
I haff many regrets in my hands. o.O
Can't throw them away. They are like stuck to me.
I did something wrong. I know. I admit. But will you just leave me alone?

yesterday was freaking boring. didn't go to mum's place.
im too tired to see her.
go there. massage for her. laugh with her. eat there.
i like la.. it is like better than staying at home actually.
so i stayed home doing stupid freaking blogskin.
i did it yet some stupid ppl hate it. freak you all la.
especially those who give me low rates. low ratings.
there's this one freaking user. never read the description i wrote.
she gave me 5 stars. and then ended up giving me none again.
so my ratings are still freaking low.
she jealous i guess.. purposely doing this to me.

then at night my grandmum came so watched sembilu with her.
i first time watched sembilu. haha :DD
the last time i watched was like lst year? i find sembilu a little boring.
the big fat box called the TELEVISION. is already labbeled a boring stuff.
seriously. i don't know what i like to watch. maybe the Tong Xin Yuan.
But no more already. -.-
and that feaking Suria. no local drama to watch!! X:
Channel 5.. well.. i nvr watched Tab TV. I always missed it.
And everyone is like talking about it. yet im the one havent finish loading :/
Out dated!! X:

I had malaysian ppl adding and writing me testimonials.
Quite scary though. Because I hardly know them.
Atleast Singaporeans friends i hardly know.. still i know. XD
why?? becos they are singaporeans.. who knows i might meet them?
Oh yeahs. there's this guy in the mrt.. kept staring at me. and yeah..
I think i viewd his friendster profile before. Guess he knows. Add me lerr!
freako. haha.

haikal. hmms. i dnt knw if i go for younger guys. he is like one year younger.
i love guys at least older than me. becos i think they're mature? yeahs.
but haikal was like young. more like a "adik" to me.

amazingly.. someone thought that this paticular teenage girl in friendster was my sister.
she said i look alike.. so when i viewed that paticular girl's profile.
she did look alike. her eyes. lol.. i add her.
she wrote me testi. hehes.. thanks ya.

ehh.. didn't expect to blog so much.. since im feeling freaking bored to death..
well atleast i killed som time XDD!!

one slowdance
with someone im dying to be with
under the purple evening sky
across the view of the drowning sun.
that song of love.
he looked me in the eyes.
he tried to read my thoughts.
and there.. i tried..
to give him one
contagious kiss.
and no one there..
to give useless faults.

i still love him.
yet i act as if i hate him.
acting if i did not care.
but at a pin-point space
in my heart.
i still do.
i wish he was mine.
i wish he was my prince.
i wish he was the one.
my only one.

get this straight in your eyes.
through yo stupid brain.
- i still love mralien.

2005-12-06T13:40:00.000+08:00

If All else Fails - Matchbook Romance

So close your eyes and sleep to dream.
I'm by your side.
No words to speak.
We'll set our course and make it through.
No matter how far I go my heart remains with you.

And if all else fails you can look up at the sky
Because it's the same one that shines above you and I.
And if all else fails you can close your eyes
And I'll be right beside you.
I'll be the one by your side.

You see.. I only love the person i have been dying to be with.
Not the one i just met. Sorry.

quizzzess

2005-12-06T13:14:00.000+08:00

today.. i did alot of quizzess.. really like sorta addicted? haha.. here goes..

birthdays:

Your Birthdate: February 8

Watch out Donald Trump! You've got a head for business and money.
You'll make it rich some day, even if you haven't figured out how yet.
A supreme individualist, you shouldn't get stuck in a corporate job.
Instead, make your own way - so that you can be the boss.

Your strength: Your undying determination

Your weakness: You require an opulent lifestyle

Your power color: Plum

Your power symbol: Dollar sign

Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

relationships:

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love...
But mostly you're looking for fun.
You could get serious with the right person.
For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

irish name:

Your Irish Name Is...

Avril O'Carroll

What's your Irish Name?

month:

Your Birth Month is February

Peaceful and harmonious, you seek the gentle side of life.
Your warmth and consideration touches many.

Your soul reflects: Purity, modesty, and faithfulness

Your gemstone: Amethyst

Your flower: Iris

Your colors: Purple, yellow, and light blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

girlboy:

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

french:

Your French Name is:

Inès Beaulieu

What's Your French Name?

keys to my heart:

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

rocker:

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

temper:

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

hehehes.. so there they are.. love them loads.

lastnight. made him cried. really.. i just have to tell you this.. i want to be single.. and yeahs.. freindship not relationship. that's the limit. you break my butterfly's wing.. forgiven you.. but will forget you. haishh.. sorry kks? really.. i feel bad to make you cry but.. you gotta know too. haishh.. woke up at arnd 10.30am .. coughing badly.. yeahs.. i just wish.. the guy i want and dream will come to me.. but well he's such an asshole. so forget it then.. try to be single.. until really love struck me heart deeply. haha.. ohkays.. STILL SICK.. YAY!! i love being sick.. hehehe.. so everything goes light.. only you will feel uncomfortable ofcourse.. okays update later!! byes!!

sicksick.

2005-12-05T10:22:00.000+08:00

hello you guys. im right now very sick. but i still have to go training. i can't miss anymore. i missed alot of trainings. well because i think of my family problems and all. right now i'm having slight fever, sore throat and yeahs.. flu. amazingly, i coughed. i mean i haven't been coughing since like the day i got real sick. i think about months ago. did'nt slept well.. even if i slept at 9pm i still can't sleep well. never in my life i can. really. i've been thinking so much. all about the days. haish. i'm not afraid to die actually. but heck.. i still love life. and well if i hate life.. then i must be the stupidest person on earth. why? life is something very hard to get. you might think it's simple. but i think it is the most wonderful gift from god. and yeahs.. you must be thankful you are born as who you are. especially when you are perfectly normal. god's creations and proud of it. haha. i saw that in someone's web. hani web also got. she changed link. cool. i still owe her her pics. sorry hani.. very busy.. hope you understand la. and i know you will understand.
last night.. waiting for his call.. lastly tak call sey.. haish.. daa la orang tunggu cam nak mampos.. cam gini sey. haha. so.. ever since i berbual ngan dier.. i learnt to accept sincere people.. actually i should have accept the other him long time ago.. but his not up to my most important standard. height.. the he must be taller than me so i can rest my head on his shoulders. hhaha.. so whoever handsome or not. i'll still take someone who has a sincere love towards me. and yeahs.. my useless ex-.. hate ppl like them.. dah break..break jer la.. nak carik pasal jerr. dier maseh tak faham la yang aku break ader maknerr.. bukan sembarangan jerr. jangan la jeling kat aku.. bukannyer aku buat salah ke perr. haish.. takper la.. da memang dier sombong.. step macam banyak orang sukekn kau.. bad taste la dorang.. i shud haf accept him not you..i was real stupid then.. regreted.. but it was ancient ago.. so now i cant let ppl like the shortie to pass.. infact.. his kinda tall... 175cm. whoas.. real tall.. too tall!! haha.. hes like ermm mat jiwang gitu la.. jiwang terok nyerr.. he made a poem for me at last.. haha.. sooooo sweeeet... zaman dulu nyer love.. very sincere.. wows. hahah..
but i can only stead with him after i met him or something.. takleh stead sembarangan.. haha.. okay now i finally admit.. im starting to be jiwang seyy.. inspired haha.. by him la ape lagi..

mahligai dari air mata -

Aku mendoakan agar kau bahagia
Bersama si dia insan yang kau suka
Percintaan kita tak sampai ke mana
Setakat di bibir saja sayang

Kau bina mahligai dari air mata
Yang jatuh berderai di wajah sepiku
Hancurnya hatiku bisa tak terkata
Terhumban rasa diriku

lols... but what i hate abt jiwang song.. is that... its so DARN freaking SLOW!!
alaaaaa.. PETERPAN BETTER..
haha.

A STATIC LULLABY - a song for a broken heart.
wows. lots of scremo.

i made this phrase..
lure that beast. stich the mouth. and fall in love.
it means. that.
how ugly the one you love.. make sure he/she is sincere enough to love.
i hate people who say things they dont mean.. at least if you dont soi it on purpose.. i forgive them.
but .. haishh.. no time to talk about them larr.

did i mention that all sec 1s in my school will not wear skirts? they will wear CULLOTES. a short that was coverred bya layer of skirt? freaking ugly. omfreaking shit. unlucky sia to be in damai sec. later soon that CULLOTES will be permanent.. forever.. sial la.. who want to go sey if you change the school fashion trend to become worst? freaking shit. lols! wow. i can't believe im so vulgar in terms of blogging.. im not as vulgar in person actually. hhahaa. yeahs..

iloveyou for who you are.. not what you're not.
slit the throat of that fcking bastard. haha!!
if you listen to alot of emo and hardcore..
you'll be able to think of those phrases.

choas and adios..

kau auraku.

2005-12-04T13:37:00.000+08:00

ohh gosh.. those words.. i love them.

Kau Auraku - Ada Band

Malam kehadiran cinta
Sambut jiwa baru
Telah lama kutunggu
Hadirmu disini
Namun hanya ruang semu
Yang nampak padaku
Meski sulit harus kudapatkan

Kerinduan yang mendalam
Terbitkan hasratku
Sambutlah tangan ini terima janjiku
Rasakan cinta yang tulus
Lewat aliran darahmu
Menyatu seiring dalam kasih

Reff:

Kau auraku…
Oh pancarkan sepercik harapan
Datanglah merasuk men…jelma
Meleburkan cinta
Kubawa kau terbang menembus
Awan yang beriring
Kembangkan senyuman
Bagai bunga…bawa keindahan

Tak dapat kusangkali
Adanya dirimu
Yang s’lalu menaungi
Pikiran batinku
Ingin miliki hatimu
Takkan pernah
Terlepaskan
Kupersembahkan
Semua padamu

hehehs.. love them .

for her.
spare a thouthg for me

the friendship we make.
is so hard to break.
those time we joke.
and when we forever spoke.

those days we played.
those nights i stayed.
momments i tried to think.
but they just sink.

those words you lied.
to make others happy.
why can't you do that for me?
instead you just left me in envy.

in vain i reflect,
those days i suspect,
that the problem lies in you,
everything you do.

kept those feelings in me,
a smile i want to see.
a simple thought,
i wish you give me.
nothing else,
as long you move me.
just me. for once me.
i begged for me. ME!!!
please spare a thought for me.

for him.
a face i dreamt of.
a face i imagine.
a name i made.
a name i believe in.
a voice that cared.
a voice that spared.
a joke i laughed.
a joke i dread.
a love i have for you.
a love you didnt have.
a lie you speak.
a lie my throat slits.
and it just came to me..
you did love me..
just that you cant believe it.
and as animosity spreads.
in me it lingers,
just like the love i had.

ohkays not really a poem.. WHO SAYS ITS A POEM!!
just words i had.

perasaan tersirat di hatiku in.
susah di percayai.

6hrs of talking. whoas.

2005-12-04T12:47:00.000+08:00

alrights. there goes the indecisive poser. whatever. aku takder maser nak layan orang macam kau. orang yang selalu tidak kesah pasal perasaan orang. buat bodoh la. penting diri and kebaikan sendiri sahaja. takder maser takde maser. besabar je la. lagi pun berapa banyak sabar aku ni, dier maseh macam gitu jugak. diam diam besi. haha. ehh all of the sudden i talk malay sia. thats good.

I recreated this skin. previously was pixel stretch and pixel stretches are har to work with. the words are hard to be read. so i redesigned.. using my ver own brushes. and yeahs some other brushes too. want to know look at my creds link. last night was gerek sia. i was really damn sick with high fever, slight sorethroat and flu. Talked to my "syg" haha. Baith I mean. yeahs.. I talked to him like from 11+pm to like 5am+ cool isnt it? haha we talked alot of crap and because of him.. i think my malay will improve.. yeah i did talked alot of malay ever since. he is so jiwang.. unfair you know.. he wrote a malay jiwang poem for his gf last time then never write for me.. -.- .. wow.. his malay was like woweee. then suddenly he call me kakak (older sister) urghss. that pisses me off. so i called him abang (older brother) and he doesn't want to be called as that. then i called him sayang. he too. haha. then cannot sleep la. want me to cook him maggi la want me to kiss him la peluk so that he can sleep.. blabla. haha hes so sweet you know. yeah you know. whatever.. i just wish someone would write for me a love poem too. in malay ofcourse. if that ever happens.. i will be melting. i can't believe why his gfs all so insincere to him yet stil he can write poems. lol. haha.. kau auraku. that song. i love it to bits. i'm so thankful to meet a guy like him.. haha. i mean he is like.. very sincere? guys like him very hard to find. but if hes not sincere pon.. alaa buat bodoh jerr. hhaha.. cannot trust hp relationship so much. trust when you meet liaos.

URGHSS!! STILL SICK!! My flu is like so bad!!!!!!! Alarr forget it. My mum is going for another op again. its like 3 times liao. gaushh.. my sis suck .. she sound as if she knows everything.. she never cared about my mum's feelings. i'm afraid for my mum and there she goes blabbing as if she's a doctor.. freakshow. hahaha... yeahs. i guess the only ppl i can talk to is like 2 people only? him and suhailah. hahaha. my bill.. yeah bill.. 220 + !!!!!!!!!! Shit sia. called suhailah lerr that time till 1am+ bill also 200+ haha. wtheck. chaos.

life's booooringg-

2005-12-02T15:08:00.000+08:00

hellos. Changed my skin. I think this suck.
anyways. working on another one. haha.
I'm so bored!! dead bored!!
Yesterday I went out with Suhailah to buy school books.
She was darn late so i decided to go to her house and wait till she gets ready.
Haha!! Her youngest sister is so mean to me!!!! URGHHHS!! So young so bad.
HAHA. Alrights errs. went to the the library and was laughing like mad shit.
NON STOP. OH Suhailah.. you always make me laugh (when she just sits ther and look at you).
YOU ARE SO FUNNAYE! LOL!! Erms went to TM and searched for my shoe. Yeahs. I'm so cerewet.
Cool. Then Suhailah saw the Qamarul never tell me. Haishh.. Hate her. haha.. no la.. shes so bad nvr tell me!!
So went back to school by bus. i ate potato currypuff. lol!! so bought our books and uniform.
saw my rotten ex. wow so sombong seh. jeling at me. bastard. who cares? i have atleast someone how cares me more. hehehe...
then after buying books .. asked rizal to help me he dont want sey. basket. lol!! hate him.
bomdigity. suhailah followed me to go to my hse andshe is like so jakon. my room was sandy sorry.. hehe.. came back from sentosa. those sand wont go away. after that i decided to go to her hse since no one was at home. so i slacked at her hse. we open our combined blogskins account. LOVESUICIDE- designs. nyehehe!! We we'll try our best to make it to SKINS OF THE DAY hopefully.
at night which was last night. Al baith.. cousin of aidil called me. haha.. ohk. i admit he was really sweet. forgiven him for making me feel useless. and unwanted. kurang ajar sey. but it was all forgotten. his other cousins like zairi and mubin so noisy. can hardly hear. zairi penakut. lol!! anyways. was happy to talk to him. aidil is finally useless. so thankful to have found a friend who cares for me more than that rotten apple. haha. anyways. hes so sweet. klahs.
woke up. did this skin and yeahs... did a new brushset. i'll try to host it. coming up soon.
yeahs. so lazy to go out. everday go out. like wanna die ler liao. haha. beginning to talk chinese way again. haha. that arabian boy influenced me. lol!! haha. funnayeee.

so long green pig. i hate you and finally i have no feelings for you.
because i just realise how useless your words and heart is. just like it is to your life.
anyways. you know what. i think you are just a disgrace. goodbye sweet memories of you and i.

bbq and stuffs.

2005-11-30T09:43:00.000+08:00

Monday - Wendy's Birthday.
It was around 1.40pm+ we went to Sheng Siong to buy Wendy's Birthday BBQ Celebration stuffs. Each of us contributed like about $5 each. And I think the seniors contributed more. After that, some of them put the things at Farhah's house, while me and sarah went to Baizura's house nearby. Once I entered the house, my jaw like was wide ajar. Can't CLOSE!! The house was like absolute PALACE. Neat and nice. And very GRAND.
After that, we had netball training. I tied my hair and my fringe. HAHAS. Then after netball we went to Kaiyan's house at Bayshore Road near Parkway there. Her house is a condominium. Freaking big, grand and nice sia. It is like a hotel. 5 star hotel. Whoas. Really, it would be a dream come true for me. Then, some of them got the stuffs ready. While others jump in to the POOL. I jumped with SARAH!! LOL. Then took alot alot alot of pics. Seriously, got alot of my pics. HAHA!! Gonna edit edit. (I dont have the pics =( boos!! It's with Nurulhuda.) Then ate alot of BBQ chicken. Then playplay, then ate alot of CAKE. nice!! Then took more pictures and then went home by Nurulhuda's hse.

Tuesday - Heavy Rain.
Rush to hospital today. False alarm about my mum. So went out by sis car. Bought billabong hotpink and black leather sling bag. Cost me $65. whoas. ate swensen then walk under the rain. went home like 11.45pm+ so yeahs. very late tired.

Im like so angry with him. He dont want to admit!!!!! Urghs. he sucks. his cousin is just freaking me out. why?? why ninja?? you are making me saddddddddd. NINJA!!

NETBALL CAMP ROCKS!!!

2005-11-25T09:51:00.000+08:00

WHOOOO!!
Netball camp was so freaking nice man!! Although I sometimes feel like going home, it was so fun!! I guess the reason why I want to go home because I get homesick very easily. Besides, I miss my mum alot. And yesterday I found out that she doesn't allow me to go out alone. HMMSS.. why arh? Usually she allow me to. But all of the sudden no? I guess maybe someone turned the story up and down. Hmmss. Anyways, I would like to tell you what happened during the camp. It is so darn fun, funny and well yeah.. FUN!!

FIRTST DAY OF CAMP 22/11:
We got briefed about the point system of the camp by using pebbles (which actually turned out to be a failure and instead brought home those pebbles as "souvinier" did i spell that correctly?). Then we put our bags in 3a2 class and yeahs. After that, we played games at the atrium. We were told to carry each one of us. This is how it works. All of us lied down on the floor with our hands reaching high up. The one of us has to lie down on those hands while we move here from the start to the end. During this process, we pinched there butts and yeahs, tickled them. The most who got pinched and being sabotaged was, well.. BAIZURA I guess. Most probably lahs. Then we played TREASURE HUNT!! lols. My group (4) won. TWICE. lols. My team was made up of Baizura, Syaz, Me, and I forgot who arr.. (woops. sorry.) It was very fun. Haha!! Then after that, we had our shower and erm well our dinner too. After our dinner, we watched movie called DRUMLINE. So damn nice!!!!!! Was damn funny and nice lahh. So impressed too. Then when the movie ended, we had our nightwalk!!! ARGHS!! So damn scared. REALLY. I got freaked out the most. Sial larhs. Haha. I went with Alia since Sarah don't want too. So HECK. It wasn't fun, it was scary. LOL. I hate the toilet part. But at that time got Baizura, so we were quite fine. Well, there was a true history about my school. So I don't wanna talk about it. lol. Then after that, we watched movie again in music room. We watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose. And yeah slept in the music room larhs. So painful sia. My back all aching like siao. Can't sleep at all. I miss my bed!! That was what i was thinking all night. But suprisingly it helped me to sleep. LOL!!

SECOND DAY OF CAMP 23/11:
We went to Sentosa. played lotsa games. and it was a hell lotsa fun. haish in the end was too tired out and i slept in the bus. anyways.. i will post some pics soon.

LAST DAY OF CAMP 24/11:
We had to write special notes and blablabla. instead of going home at 1pm we went home at 3pm. that was such a delay but it was worth it.

haish.. I really am mad at my bestfriend. She betrayed me. Totally. I bet she didnt now this but I'm trying my best not to make her feel bad or angry. So im not telling anyone of you. I told my brother only. Haish look. she betrayed me a hell lot of more than her wits. i mean i really mistook her for being perfect. i thought she was perfect and that she would understand you and try not to make you feel JEALOUS. but well hell fuck. She made me jealous. i AM jealous. but i will not show it to her. why show people your ugly face? but i have to tell you. everytime she brags about what SHE CAN DO makes me feel that hey. IT WAS MY IDEA. AND SHE STOLE IT. she betrayed me all along. I thot we were different and yeah im glad. im the type of person who wants to be original and have to keep my personality underground. (if you understand) she is so totally not what she is bragging about. why?! oh hell. i will now never going to tell anyone whatever im doing. really. im never going to expose my plans and ideas to ppl who wont appreciate or atleast be thankful to. why can she be good and like be careful not to hurt her other bestfriend and actually forgotten all about me and HURT ME THIS WAY?!? she suppose TO KNOW these things hurt me alot. well if she doesnt, I HOPE SHE KNOWS BY THIS POST. I am hardly going to talk to her about my life anymore. im not talking to anyone!! I hate my fucking mouth. I AM BEING TOOOOO NICE TO PPL. Im not going to be nice girl anymore sorry. if you want me to. then be mine too. indecisive poser!

HARRY POTTER ROCKS MY SOCKS!

2005-11-22T08:29:00.000+08:00

ahh.. HARRY POTTER.
The most handsome guy i've ever seen.
He isn't cute. Not even hot. He is super duper handsome.
I <3 him. I LOVE DANIEL JACOB RADCLIFFE. Haha!! My new boyfriend. Here he is!! With Hermione. I actually wished they kissed.

And here he is again! Looking all so mature and HANDSOME!!

He loves some sort of rock music I heard. And that was what I like too. HEES!!

Anyways.. I watched him act in the fourth movie of Harry Potter. Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.
The freaking line was packed. So we booked tickets using the AXS machine with MY DAD'S CARD.
So infact, I booked it. Haha. Then played table hockey. (Is that what's it called?) Yeahs. I played HARD!
Haha!! Impossible how ms SUHAILAH can win me. But well I won her atlast. Haha. Oh yeah. With the help of NADYA. She "protected" the hole. Haha! Then we went to Popular bookstore to look for sticker book for Suhailah? Wonder why she needs it? To put neoprints? Haha guess so. We went to Toys'rus. And Suhailah pushed me hard. Pain sia my neck. Can't sleep properly. Haishh. Oh yeah, before that, we took neos. Freaking asshole boy spoiled the choices of pretty pictures. freak him. Here they are.

And may I wish to present my favourite :

Oh yeah. Yesterday, I saw my long madrasah friend. (shamella) We met and just waved her. I also had a cha with the damai netballers too (: haha. Pretty shocked to met they all. But I met my bestfriend!! SARAH! haha!

I love this song from STORY OF THE YEAR. { Until the day I die. }
It was so heartfelt. I really love it. Touched my heart. That song for stupid him for not realising.
Yeah, your loss your regret. I hate him.

Well, today, netball camp. Haish gonna miss mostly my mum. But I gotta be strong. So anything, call or sms me (: Chaos and goodbye.

happy birthday?

2005-11-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

hellos. alrights err. i went out err. dunt knw when to buy present for my cousin.
i bought her this kind of happy hse bag. that i think shud be useful haha.
wheees -! new skin. this is the bes and will be the final skin till well, im sick of it.
but i dont think i will be bcos this is so freaking nice. haha!! ohyeahs. took me about less than 2.5 hrs to finish it. haha. err. anyways. my previous one will be submitted at blogskins.com.
yeah. so err. at the same time when i bought the gift. my sis bought wedding gifts for a friend. and it is so admn cool!! the radio is an alarm as well as funky designs. it can change its colour. cool huh? then err.i bought this fourskin bag. similar to hani. but i will redesign with the help of my brother. shall be nicer hehe. err. went to my cousin hse for the party. hate her aunts. they look down on my family sides. so bad huh? bias. hmphh! and errm. well when my best cousin acme. wana and hakim.. those from bedok north sec. haha i was so delighted. went home by my uncle's van and err wana and hakim also follow arr. they came to my hse and well took my songs. as in they download my songs into their mp3. haha.. see.. my songs are nice. i dont like jiwang. i only like indon and well one of the jiwang song. mahligai di air mata. that's all. nothing else. haha. kays. i love this song form our lastnight. {blanket of bullets}
kay tmr going out with my besties and my netballer friends. i guess i shd not and never think of quiting. NEVER EVER. i just need help thats all. and i really need them alot now. at this point of time. i shall be strongetr and im sorry to those netballers. well just sorry i guess? haha love you guys. loads.

you lied through your teeth.

2005-11-18T08:56:00.000+08:00

alrights. im in such a dillemma right now. i cannot decide if i want to quit.
why am i so sensitive? well yeah it hurts alot when im under pressure and when i have been hurt by alot of things. i feel as if im the problem. like for every training, im the only one getting scolded badly and everything else has to delay. i mean what's wrong with me?? i really didnt think of anything at all that time. i mean i think of nothing. my head is blank. wtf. if i quit, i wont be having any cca. which is obviously so troublesome. i mean an express student need cca points. ohk. well that's the new system of my school. which obviously suck. so freaky suck. urghhs. wtf. why must the school have difficult choices for its pupils. freaking shit. fckistic. urgh!!

had a chat with aidil from 1250am to 0221am. which was freaking tired. i was sleeping when he called. still i have to call him back. wth. wasting my telephone bills for him. ohk not just for him arr. for suhailah also. hahas. wth. do homework still want to call. emokid. bleahhs. haha. anyways. to follow you buy shoes? nahh.. you go out with your ninja larr. lerrr. when will you ever learn. it would be god's gift if you get your "desired wish" when you never even did anything good for the religion. tsktsk. aidilaidil, why do i even care? basket.

so today, going to meet mrs loke about quiting and stuffs. haish.. wth. aiyahh. damn packed sia today. must go see mummy. and all haish. why do such problem even exists. fckfcku.

i just discover somehting about myself. i cant control my mind anymore. it is way beyond my control. im just confused. maybe its true i've been suffering from depression without me noticing that it is getting worst. or maybe im suffering from mental disorder. at one momment, i feel hyper and i start laughing and talking alot. making stupid jokes out of nothing. another momment, i feel so pressurized that i sometime think of commiting suicide (wtf fatin?) and on that very momment, i feel like giving up. than at the end of the day, i worry alot of thinks and made a fucking lame conclusion. "why do i fucking care?" or even "why the fuck i worry so much about?" urghss. life. wtf. gotta live with it. it hurts when you cannot turn to anyone. yeahh ppl might say, "tell me if you need me". well, it is sometimes hard to tell you, and sometimes when you told them, they are not there. worse still, they are there, but they were'nt listening at all!! i hate the world. i dont know what it had happened to it. me caring so much about not wasting stuffs and this is what the fuck i get.

Good times last forever? nah, you'll forget it by then.

cut hairr lerrr.

2005-11-17T21:30:00.000+08:00

ohkays. im like so freaking outta this world.
im not on earth i guess.
hhmss.. today went to tampines central to cut hair.
before that was walking to the bustop when theres these two boys aged like 11 and 12, caught smoking under a block. my sis as usual. to those who know what she does. smack their days off.
hahas.

i cut my hair!!! my hairr!!! arghh!! not so girly leys. more like of tomboyish wild punky rock girls?
hahas. i guess so. but i try to make my look more girly arr. haha.

chat with kayan abt netball. i guess there are stress about stuffs and more. i sometmes wonder why i bother much abt sad stuffs. haha. i wonder why i really want to quit in the past. well because i think. i wasnt thinking straight. im never thinking straight. sometimes i think of nothing AT ALL. that really sucks. then all of the sudden i worry alot. for no complete reason. its like im suffering from something. depression?? how do you suffer from depression? when i cut my hair just now. ican see dark rings around my eyes. its like so UGLY!! urghhs. i just wish people woul dbe a little more patient with me. i know im difficult. but it me. im born like that. plus i cant change myself. im being myself. haish. guess watching harry potter with suhailah is over. way so over. maybe i shd watch with someone else. who is more likely eager to go out far haha. haishh. why is my friendship circle so limited!! even if its so big, im close to few only. must be more socialble. hahah.
ohk. im like so dead freak. yesterday was sleeping when aidil called at exactly 1.22 am. was sleeping when he asked me to go to sleep. haha that ninja. kks. bye.

urghhs!!

2005-11-16T10:02:00.000+08:00

URGHS!! I just dont understand why it had to happen like this!!
I mean i just don't quite understand why my dad can't tell my teacher straight!!
I was so freaking mad!!! I cannot UNDERSTAND AT ALL!! I hate it!!
Just let me quit will you?! Here are my reasons.
1. I have no experience in netball at all.
2. Therefore I have no idea how to play.
3. So obviously, I will get scoldings that in the end, I dont really quite understand why i should go on.
4. It is true i have no interest in netball at all.
5. And you can't force me to play things i dont quite give a damn.
6. I have better things to worry about than to worry about my performance. Because even if i tried so hard.. I end up the same.
7. My mum was a little of the reason but the BOTTOM LINE IS.. I DONT HAVE ANY INTEREST IN CONTINUING NETBALL.
8. If you think that i am that kind of person who gives up easily.. then tell you what. at least i give up for a good cause.
9. Dont force me to do things i dont like and worst still i dont know how.
10. If you dont let me quit, I'll just wont go. I will try to commit suicide. (which i wont) I'll just runaway from the problem if i cant solve it.

so geddit guys? just geddit will you.
i never made such regrets my whole life. i guess that will be my first and final. and it must be.
ohh yarr.. my school is kinda stupid. i mean the system. if they want their pupils to have cca, then open more choices. it doesnt mean you must achieve it right? it is a program to at least stress out. like common.. you guys know the meanning of why there's such things as CCA right? dont ask me. you will only make me roar in pain.

yesterday was freaking annoying. called aidil but why is he talking to me that way. as if i did something wrong. and i dont quite much understand. arrr heck. why bother?? all aidils have attitude probs. thats what we talked about i mean in conference with suhailah and nad. haha. talking to them so much better. atleast they can tolerate my crap. haish. life is like so... complicating and more like "wtf is going on" of type nowadays. i just dont get life! at all. misunderstandings.. why do they exists? urghhs. cant ask such questions. i just WISH i could start a new life next year. forget about all your sorrows. drown them all. turn over a new leaf. nahhh- the whole tree is much better.

haish. went like hospital by mrt. all the mats and the minahs all want to jalan rayer. i know larr i nvr jalan rayer. no need to commetn what i wear arr.. ateast i dont wear so terok right.a skirt and a blouse okay whats.
ohyeah not to mention my pink X:ODUS SHOES!! they are so pretayye.. harhar.. nadya said it sucks. but i like and alot alot of ppl like too. maybe nadya, your taste different arr.. your taste terlalu mahal. very high want. standard terlalu tinggi. me? just simple. it is as long it makes me happy. no need to be so choosy that type. harhar.. but i can be choosy at times too arr. at times when almost everything you see is so pretty to you and that you feel like buying all.

Monday gonna go watch harry potter with suhailah and nad. looking for someone to follow us.. care to follow? but you must approve to me. bcos.. i am the type of person who takes who follows us seriously.
it all depends on how fun you are. you gotta be very fun. haha. yeah i mean if you so timid, what can you do to make us laugh. and dont just tag along. you are just being a stalker.

*PS suhailah: ehh i change the skin later arr if i got the time. but hopefully soon ahaha.. and atleast follow me go TM to buy my cousins b'day present kays? your turn to call me. i called you like alomost 5 time already (:

i just hate it.

2005-11-14T21:57:00.000+08:00

yeah. didnt go for netball. i wish to quit. yeah. really.
mum and dad agreed that i should quit too. haish..
i cant stop thinking about it. i really cant play. so forcing me wont help.

mum is sick and found out theres another tube. ohk.
anyway i shall type till here. because.. im busy.

i love you and you know it.
& i know sometimes, you really dont care.

jln rayerr.

2005-11-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

ohkays.. so long nvr update.
dnt really haf the mood to. but i guess i have to.
hhmms..

thursday:
went out with most of the sec1 malays to jln rayer.
was quite of a regret at first. but as time passes, it was ok.
erm i sticked with nadya. like d'uhh. and i was chatting like nonstop to her.
dnt know why.. guess i was really bored. haha.
well went to farah's hse and then went home.
no one was at home. called my brother who was at the army camp to came back.
and he did. he brought me supper yumm.
watched lost together. dnt quite understand that freaking show. haha
but i wonder why my bro likes it.
so i went to sleep.

friday:
friday morning went to mom's place.
ate breakfast at the canteen.
then went to sister's place with bike.
then i brought along my helmet. haha. personal mine.
at sisters place.. joked and talked crap with er boyfriend and her.
then farah called. asked me if i wanna go out. yes i wanted.
if not i will be at home.. alone.
haha.. so went out to orchard and err.. brought along my helmet.
was quite embarassing but i got the hang of it.
hani bought lotsa presents for lotsa ppl. three ppl i guess hhaa..
well farah bought.. a talking carebear. haha. me? nothing just hanging around.
haha.. all the mats saying me naik motor. haha.. well yeah i did.
and i think i have a plan of taking motorcyle licence. is that how it spell? dnt know.
kinda cool. hmms. hhaah.. went back home around 9.45pm. was damn freaking alone sia..
so scared.. called aidil and he was out jln rayer.. but he still insists to chat for awhile. but i dnt want to spoil his day or was it night.
so i put down the phone. went to watch survivor and it was like ok hhaha.. then went to sleep.
then aidil smsed me if i was awake. sorry upa. i wasnt. and i wish i could talk to you. hahah.
seriously.. he is the only person i like to talk to. is it becos i like him? hhmmss.. hahah.
well one good thing is that he stays up late. so i can call him (: harr harr. ok then.
enuf said.

goodbye sweet nothings

fcku.

2005-11-09T10:51:00.000+08:00

haishh. had a rough time at training on monday.
dnt know what was running through my mind that time.
muscles ached.
after training went to mom's place.
wowee. alot of ppl sia suddenly.
after that went home by dad's scooter and
then went straight to sleep.

really had nothing to do. usually before going to sleep..
i will watch the korean drama with mom and talk and joke with her.
but i had no mood. and i dnt haf her. i dont even haf mood to do things i like.
was so hungry that time.. but there was no food at all. maggie also finished.

tuesday, my mom went for another operation.
so dad blasted to the hospital first.
i rode my bro's scrambler. haha. ofcourse, he drove it larr.
so nice man. he sped. and the feeling was great.
you could feel as if you are at the edge of your life. and that a single mistake could crush you.
love that feeling. i dont mind dying and i dont mind living. im trying to be grateful.
jst like UPA said. appreciate what you have (: wow. good advice. haha.
then when we visit mom for a while.. we went to Little India.
ate at Tekka. haha. nice. love curry (:
then went to SIM LIM SQUARE. where all sorts of electronics and computer stuffs cud be found. the best thing is. it is quite cheap even if it is original. you can even bargain!! woots.
was happy actually. it was originally my dad's idea to go to SIM LIM to look for my new PC.
but just checking out arr.
wowee. at last got to spend time with him and my fav bro.
anyways. yesterday i dress like minah sia. dunno why. wanna change the way i dress.
i wore jeans, tshirt and slippers. brought a tote bag. and i never tied my hair. then i took scrambler. haha. i picture myself as a minah but i guess not arr. my attitude not as bad as them and i dont wear make-up. haha. i hae using make-up. so troublesome.
then walk around SIM LIM arr. got this group of mats aged about 13 to 15? yeahh. they stared at me arr.. but i step jerr that i haf boyfriend. haha which is my bro. they so pendek sia. tsktsk.
before that there was this guy at the traffic light when i was crossing. he was out with his family. and HE LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE AIDIL!!to be frank he is more handsome and quite fair. haha.. he was standing behind me and staring at me.. haha.. i looked at him but i turned away. scared he see me cair (melt) haha.
he so cute. love his hairstyle. so spiky. wore specs. an dthe best is. he doesnt dress like mat mat sesat. he has his own style plus he so cute. his face so innocent. he also went to SIM LIM. but duntknow buy what. i still remebers how he looked. so cute. so innocent. wish to kiss his delicate innocent cute face of his. haishh.. too bad dnt know his name!! urghs! wasted. haha.

then went home and SLEEEEEP. cant sleep. wanted to call aidil. but you know if you are me. you are afraid to call him.. why? you are scared his busy. he is ALWAYS. lied to me bcos he's not. lerr. whatever arr.. malas arr nak ckp pasal kau jerr.
anyways.. cant sleep. was so stressed up. WORRIED LIKE MAD. so i prayed silently to sleep. and it worked. i could feel my worries ease. gosh.. i love my god. my god is the best thing i ever had and believed in.
gtg. bubbbyes.

(i was glad you dreamnt about me. dream of me more c: )

*drown your sorrows in my pain.

oh shit

2005-11-07T11:50:00.000+08:00

right. netball training.
shitshit.
i hate it. wish could die now.
oh darnit.
oi ALIEN!! what's your id?!
i need it. thank me for designing you an atreyu skin.
thank me dude!!
i'll blog later yarh?? gotta netball.

hariraya- so lame this year.

2005-11-06T13:54:00.000+08:00

hari raya was lame this year.
it was fun. especially when i go to my relatives' houses.
but this year we didnt go out that much.
so it was kinda bored and i kinda hating it.
anyways.. why blab about sad stuffs when there's something happy to blab about. haha

on the seconda day of hari rayer. slept over at my grandmas hse.
my aunt and cousin and uncle all went out. jalan rayer larr.. of course.
then i was alone with my grandma at her hse. so i used the pc.
talked to aidil. kept saying this. " I'M BORED!!"
then he said. "darn it ..call me larr". how rude -.- haha. but im fine with it. hes my "UPA".
not my god bro. haha (UPA is another word for brother in korean. you may use it to address your "DEARY". haha) he is my deary. that is.. in my heart and not in reality. haha.
so called from 11+pm to 4+am. cool huh.. (: we crapped about all those things. i crapped about committing suicide and all. then he said cutting wrists result in -slow suicidal death- cool. but i am too scared to kill myself. besides.. attempting suicide is a BIG SIN. so.. i'll just go on with life. he told me not to. so touched.
>.< then i kept sighing.. he thought i cried. well that only happens when we started to talk about my mom :X
awww.. he said.. relax.. haha.. anyways.. then about 4+am we put down. i was left wondering. what did he wanted to tell me till he said to forget it? to tell me that i suck and i should get over him? lerr.. i tried to.. but as my close friend.. i cant right? anyways.. there was some part of the conversation we talked using " I dengan you " in malay.. you know like most malay couples do. haha. most probably a joke to him i guess. so i just layan him that way (: haha. so syiok talking to him man. hes the only malay guy i enjoyed talking to. i enjoyed talking to boys.. i admit. why? not because im a flirt or what.. i like to see them smile (: especially shy boys to smile. very cute. haha. im scared to meet aidil (mr.alien, and he still brags about this.. trying to make me BEAM on the phone) he invited me to watch the exorcism of emily rose. and ask to bring suhailah.. well for one reason.. im afraid is that he might freak out how ugly i am . haha. and sure freak out the crazy me.. but he knows im crazy haha..

anyways yesterday.. went to see mom with grandma. and grandma PISSES ME OFF. like d'uhh -.- my mood turned bad.
now shes scolding me that i hate to meet my mum larr blabla. I HATE MY GRANDMA giving me lame excuses.
she can be VERY UNREASONABLE. well forget about it. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME. only my friends.
no wonder kids nowadays are so rowdy.. because they have friends to have fun with. to have fun with family?!? think not. they will push the blame at you.. pissing you EVERYDAY. but still i love my mum and dad. and god ofcourse. but in terms of family like brothers and sisters.. i prefer friends.

WHERE ARE MY PARENTS WHEN I NEED THEM?!?
they are not spending enough time with me nowadays.. mom at the hospital i can understand. but if i were to go alone.. im bored rite? duhh of course i hate to go alone.. to go with grandma.. she complains EVERYTHING about me. so forget it. I AM A BAD DAUGHTER. why? BECAUSE YOU DONT BOTHER LISTENING TO MY PROBLEMS AND UNDERSTANDING MY FEELINGS. gaushh.. i hate my family. they sucksucksuck. why?!?!
i hate netball trainings why? very tiring plus a waste of time.. why? get scolding and never want to be patient. i hate it. i hate my life.. i am left with nothing to live for.

` WHENEVER YOU CALL I WILL BE THERE :) thankyou UPA. you are so nice.

oh shaddup.

2005-11-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

i havent been sleeping well.
i just wish my sis would shaddup!!!
she kept yelling yelling.. like she lost her sanity. insane.
then she kept bangging the door blabla.. cant even sleep.
if she doesnt like the way i do the hse work. then do it herself larr.
yesterday went to see mom. then she say;
"Everyday go out, never want to clear up the house."
well this cock eye shit. is simply blind. i did clear the hse. and lipat kain.
i wanted to mop the hse but i did not get to.. WHY?!? i was busy going to moms place.
she the most heartless shit. only visited once.
me?! i almost got LOST at bouna vista for no reason.
now?!? gotta go to Bussoroh street. cheerios.

THANKS FOR ACTING LIKE YOU CARED.
I DONT REALLY NEED YOU FAKE SYMPATHETIC CONSOLATION.
SO BETTER DONT FORCE ME TO TELL YOU.
I HAVE NO TIME TO THINK ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP.
SO DONT MAKE IT WORST.

at last

2005-10-31T11:29:00.000+08:00

At last i am able to post and also publish this skin i created a few centuries ago.
actually it was created a week ago. haha.. so what do you think? i'll be putting some songs if i have time kay?
today.. cant go netball training.. have to go visit mummy and go geylang with my bros to buy last minute baju kurung.
guess hari raya wud be at the hospital then. but whats more worst.. why no aircon?! usuall yhaf lerr. haissh. but heck. with my grandma arnd.. she JUST KEPT NAGGING AT ME. saying im useless.. so what.. if im useless then dont ask for my help. tsktsk. shes worst than my mom.

suhailah called.. wanted to go out but cant.. busy busy.
haishh.. if i go i wanted to show new shopping spots i spotted. damn so loving it mans.
but still busy busy. alarrhh what so ever.. im feeling kinda jealous that both of them go out w/o me. but who cares.. no one ever listens. no one ever cared.

why has my life became so hectic and busy lately?! i used to haf time now its like .. so cramp up.

havochavoc.

2005-10-29T11:35:00.000+08:00

kays..
sorry but i dont think i will be posting much.
i am VERY VERY VERY busy.
my mum's in the hospital and many people are calling
about her promise to make pastries and cakes for them.
well what do you expect? deepavali and hari raya are almost
in the same week. mum's not at home and theres havoc.
people calling whether they can collect their orders.
well well.. i play quite an important role. i have to REPEAT
the same story to them. so darn TIRED and stressed.
the worst part is i have to entertain their LAME stories about
them feeling sorry about my mum and all that.
well NOTE TO SELF! i know you are concern.. but let's get down to business kay?
dont call again. once is enough.. i have to take addresses.. go here and there collect money..
you think i have time to listen?!
TO PPL WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.
i have no time to think about your nonsense. school's over.
so dont find trouble with me kay?! if i did smth wrong to you in the past..
FORGETtheFCKofit.
honestly. why bother when its over?! you ppl just dont know to TRESURE YOUR LIFE!
URGHHS! say whatever you want about me. call me a bitch if you dare. so what?! its my life and i rule it.
i have no time to mind about your so fcking nonsense.
OVER MEANS OVER.

and those other ppl.. about my skins.
i wont be doing much. strictly i have no time and i am so stressed up.
stressed up about family problems..
so dont ask me why.. bcos i wont tell anyone of you.
im keeping it to myself bcos i dont want to beg for SYMPATHY.
like those who thought i was doing. but HELLO! i am STATING THE FACTS.

NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO ME OKAY?!
so dont go around telling ppl i dont appreciate THINGS given to me!
tell you what.. how can i have time to appreciate when i dont have the time for myself?!
spare a thought for CRYING OUT SO darn LOUD!

yesterday went heeren to buy hari raya stuffs with sis.
before that.. met with my two aunts to look for funiture for my house.
seriously.. what has happen to my mum and their taste?! our hse is based on indon theme..
why buy things that spoil it?! wth.
then ate kentang ball at haig road. so this guy so darn handsome. haha. at last i laughed.
(F.Y.I i never laughed sinced yesterday night, when my mum just got admitted.)
then went to heeren buought shoes.. wrist pouch and accessories. blabla.
went to takashimaya and ate prata hotdog.. nice.. got cheeseballs.. i like!

haishh what so ever larr.. life is so darn hard now.. nothing seems to make it break.
i am SO afraid my mum will leave me forever.. and i have to walk alone all by myself.
i am not independent. i need my mum.. besides im 13. i still need her..

today.. picked up total of 10 calls in about 3 hrs. i try my best not to throw my tantrums.
so as not to look stressed up. this makes you ugly and very depressed.

gd bye fickened assholes.
hello angels.

almost.

2005-10-26T21:26:00.000+08:00

oh god. i almost cried just now.
my mum shivered as if the temperature was below 0 degrees celcius.
i almost cried. well i did. for a short while.. i dont want to show her the tears.
i don want her to cry either..
i am so scared. i just wish i could share this with someone. but who?
i cant share with saisai. bcos.. i dont think he will make me feel better.
i wish to tell suhailah but she replys to me late.
i just wish i could tell him. but he doesnt care. so why should i? hes busy worrying for her. so fat hope.
i just need someone. who cares me. i dont think i have anyone right now.
i just wish i can have someone like you. but too bad. there isnt.

sicksicksick

2005-10-26T10:07:00.000+08:00

hello ppl..
sorry.. didnt blog for almost 2 days i guess.
was probably too tired and lazy to update.
but i must say..
i am really very busy.
alot of funny things happen..
tears of joy.. sadness everything.

but lets say the mood of a wednesday morning.
mood : sleepy, tired and bored.
feeling: sick and restless.
doing: blogging and designing as usual.
listening: Bow Wow ft. Ciara - Like You.
to-do list: clear room, read books, help mom.
sad about: can't log in to msn. back ache, toe hurts.
happy about: never went to school, more time to sleep c:
missing: concert in school later, my two bestfriends. things to laugh at.

ohkays.. lets continue my story..

monday :
early in the morning, wanted to meet suhailah at the block in front of mine.
unfortunately.. i could not fine my school skirt! ranseaked the room..
ran up and down the stairs countless time.. and found it in my bag. haha. d'uhh.. unwashed.
but heck late for school. bathed like mad.. but still fresh and clean. cos i used alot of soap and shampoo.
still cannot miss blow-drying my hair. cant tie my hair when its still wet. will looked like an idiot.
then met suhailah at the block we usually met. THEN mr thong was there while suhailah was pulling her socks! she was wailing actually.. ahaha.. then i laughed.. ROFL! ROFL! ROFL! ROLL ON THE FLOOR BABEH.
haha. went to school.. and mr thong was staring at us. errps..
then while reading during silent reading.. i pointed suhailah a piceture od CHRISTIANO RONALDO on a newspaper own by a guy beside her.. and then the guy noticed then they smiled.. HAHA!! i made suhailah malu twice.. haha.. moday my handsome fren kim and squidward fren sakil didnt came.. so lester sat behind.
laughed like mad dog.. my nose turned extremely RED. whoa. haha.. lester said.. "she looked as if she was crying when she was laughing" haha. well i was.. my stomach ached for almost 1 hour. d'uhh it hurts.. haha.
had netball. d'uhh got scolded what else. played a game..who ever lost must do 20 pushups. but i didnt. wahahah.. so no pushups. the muslims were totally stressed out.. by how tough it is to train during fasting period. hmms..

tuesday

met suhailah at the school gate to prevent seeing mr thong. haha. in class was merajok with suhailah bcos she saidi was acting cute.. i was playing with my MOUTH!!!!!! errr.. i didnt get to explain bcos i was already in bad mood. why? nohting to laugh at haha.. then i told myself.. what for be sad all day when you can be happy? so played U-N-O- with nadya, rithy, kim, gary and sakil. I AM GLAD TO ANNOUNCE, THAT I HAVE MAGICAL POCKETS. haha.. if you put your cards in your blouse pockets (which was locaed at my breasts* haha) you will for sure win. haha.. guranteed c: i kept winning.. bcos of my magical pockets. rithy was disgusted bcos he thot i haf magical breasts.. haha! he then told me that he would not play if i kept putting cards at my boobsies.. haha!!! how disgusting!! so i stopped. then when the game was over.. tried to cheer suhailah .. and for the first time!! she was happy at the spot. haha!! yay.. but when dismissal time she was angry again.. i cried. i cannot help it.. why must we be sad and angry to each other? when we can be happy? finally get to watch movie. started to rain heavily.. i was terified.. really thunderstorms that kill big time. so went to century square to watch skeleton key.. was quit scary.. but boring too. about voodoo and stuffs.. blabla. at ferst we were the ferst. and the cinema was empty.. since its a ghost show.. i thot we are watching alone!! so i was terified.. then i kept wailing.. haha.. theni heard someone said number 4 upstairs. that was the cinema we were in so we knew atleast we are not alone. then i suppose to sit at 11 but i was afriad so i sat at 9. a seat i never paid for.. haha.
then after the movie.. went to smell perfumes again.. super fun. to0k neos. but definitely a waste becos it turned out not as expected. bleahhs.. went home at 6+ reached 6.20pm.. hahas... super late mans. i just hate rithy! suppose to watch with us but they refused. urghs!

ohkays ppl.. thinks thats all ppl. so erms.. chao!!

sunday smiles

2005-10-23T12:46:00.000+08:00

heys guys..
just finished praying lerr.
read suhailah's blog post about hari kiamat.
and she say better bertaubat. so i trying my best to bertaubat.
i felt so much better after solat.
usually around this time.. i feel very bored then start throwing tantrums.
but today after solat i feel so great! seriously.. like all my worries were gone c:
i like this feeling! solat really gives miracles to me.
a miracle work c:

earlier on before i went to solat.. i talked to my sis like a debate talk.
which i find was rather stupid and a waste of time.
while talking a debate both of us helped our mum and granny make kueh raya.
we were trying to make kueh makmur c: getting better every try i must say.
at first i was talking to my grandmother about bertaubat all those stuff..
btw ppl.. bertaubat has something to do with the religion.
doing more religious stuffs c:
my grandmother told me that even after subuh can solat kada' if that how it spells.
thaen my tak berinsaf sister interupted.
she says as if i were to do all those religious stuffs like that.
so rude right? but worst still when muis sent her to go to a higher level of muslim school..
she stopped going half way.. throwing all those religious books. how bad was that!
no respect for religion stuffs.
ehh i almost forgot sia.. that today bulan ramadhan and im busy gossiping or mengumpat.
which is bad thing to do.
but what i think im doing is stating the facts about how unlucky i am to haf her as a sister.
but oh well.. shes my sister.. heck her and get down with life smoothly c:
anyways.. then we started 'debating'. i told her..
"Hah!! as if you do it too! at least i'm better.. i didnt get to go the highly muslim school yet i am SINCERELY want to bertaubat.. not like YOU!"
(like d'uhh.. theres a mix of malay and english.. mostly english .. nyehaha)
then i stareted to laugh at her like mad woman..
my sister being the sore loser said that mad women are not welcome in the house and that should be chased out of the house.
ofcourse.. justifying for myself.. i said.. so what?! i like being mad.
then she said be mad outside of the house.. i'll chase you out.
then i said YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO CHASE ME OUT.
then she said SO WHAT.
i believe that only sore losers says 'SO WHAT' when theyre losing in a fight.
obviously the sore loser is my sister..
then i said THEN YOU CANNOT CHASE ME OUT BCOS YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS!
she said tell me what rights she dont haf to chase me out. (using her law skill she learnt in the police academy.)
i said.. THIS HOUSE DOESNT BELONG TO YOU.
she say ANYMORE RIGHTS?!
like d'uhh.. shes such a sore loser.. trying to search reasons in me to say that she WON the fight.
then all of the sudden the fight ended.. frankly i won the fight .. but at my sister's point of view.. she WON.
how? she said SHUT UP to me and said SHUT UP OR I SLAP YOU.
that is so LAME!! pls sister.. admit you wont bertaubat and that i am more sincere than you.. more gracefull than you.. more 'tak berkurang' ajar than you. so dont pick up a fight with me justifying things you are not when you ARE.

then azan sudah bang.
so i went up to take wuduk.. walk slowly to show how better i am ... hahah
how funny is that..
sincerely speaking my parents dont care about her anymore.. why?
becos she doent care a bit for my parents.. i guess ill try my best to be filial to my parents and
hope the world wont end soon .. so that i can repay them back c: i prayed about this just now.. hehe..

so now.. i am blogging oh yeahh.. theres another fight.

just a moment before the azan sudah bang.. like about 15 mins.. my uncle came.. my pak long.
he wanted to take the money my mum owed him.. then my sore sucker loser sister said to my uncle..
sis: PAK LONG WHERE'S THE 20 BUCKS YOU OWED ME.
pak long: I GAVE YOUR MUM AND TOLD HER TO PASS IT TO YOU.
sis ( getting mad) : NEXT TIME DONT GIVE MY MUM. SHE CANNOT BE TRUSTED!
then the fight goes on.
in my heart i said to myself.. you stupid sister.. cant you see our mum is sick and needs the money more than you?!
you heartless freak. arent you afraid our mum will die soon.. (i think. shes suffering a deadly sickness and i dont wish to share) . i know i sometimes dont trust my mum.. but at least have a hear tand give the money she needs. you are working so earn the money yourself and pay her for the hard work she made to bring you up.
i cannot live with her. i wish she buzz off forever. seriously i cannot live with a heartless freak like her.. shes almost the same as my 2nd bro. only that my 2nd bro is heartless to me only and shows bad sickening ATTITUDE to everybody in the hse. which i find him a chilsishly emo ass.. now everyone afraid of him.. to me.. so what?! you are not god.. i aint afraid of you.. ask for stapler i aint afraid.. only stupid ass like you are.. coward shit.. stole my stuffs! urghss.. i only like my 1st bro. my fav c: lalalala.. i love my family.. EXCEPT my last uncle , my sis and my 2nd bro.. they suck big time.. no offence but. this is so what i think about you and i hope you change for the better c:

toodleeeeeedo0ooo ppl!

urghs.

2005-10-22T17:10:00.000+08:00

urghs! why me?! always me!!
this is so stupid.. why has my parents afraid of my second brother?!
even my grandmother's afraid of him.
theyre afraid he gets angry blablabla.
thankgod im better.
hes so damn ficken baby!

so damn fcking crestfallen

2005-10-22T13:56:00.000+08:00

damn shit.
i just hate love alot.
it sucks alot.
i hate everyone i fall in love with.
i think having a crush is so much better.
tsktsk. love and crush is different you know.

i hate kingpluto.
you suck big time mans!
but still, deeply i love you.

new pc monitor.

2005-10-22T10:47:00.000+08:00

whoa.
like really whoa mans.
got a new montor for this pc.
17" cool aites?
but im getting my own pc.
so too bad. hahas..
really damn excited to get my new pc.
if not getting.. im gonna be sour my whole life!
of course towards my dad and mom ofcourse.
they can sometimes be SO very unreasonable.
which i really hate about parents.
making unreasonable WHITE LIEs.
tsktsk. what else is gonna happen?

phews!

2005-10-21T17:37:00.000+08:00

just came back from netball..
and i was so very dehydrated!
tired and giddy..
felt like vomiting and fainting..
besides ii'm fasting.. so what to do right?
i dont want to break.. bcos only a few hours can eat lerr.
haishh.. today.. not so tough as usual..
coach taught me to shoot all this..
quite happy though.. learnt something new..
hmms.. anyways.. gotta bathe .. byes ppl!

sorry ppl.

2005-10-21T11:15:00.000+08:00

heyheyhey!!
sorry guys.. been busy lately.
hmms.. our fight had ended. life is more of fun if we are better off like we used to be.
anyways.. about my results. totally suck big time!! it sucks alot. lots and lots.
but maybe because i got top 6 due to my CA results. lucky lucky.
made this skin. i think it's the best. i love the pic. loads.
hmms.. guys.. i dont like qamarul. i dont even know him. what the hell are you talking mans?!
suhailah.. change the pic. i hate them all. it reminds me of the act cute side of me. which i try to be more mature as time go by kays?
hmms.. finally.. my dad asked me the big ques.
" You want laptop or PC?" arghh!! i was like beaming all day! whee!!
i chose PC because it is more powerful than laptop.
besides im buying a Media Center PC. this means i can watch tv, tune in the radio, watch movie..
blabla.. in my room! ohh yeahh!! how cool is that?! wahaha..
top 6 mans.. thik gonna be top 7 for sure the last person in class[ms xiojie] gets ferst. unfair. boos! just becos she failed her english by one mark. hmphh!
forget it.. i am gonna beat her [if i am fortunate enuf] nxt year! nyehaha.. see.. me ego is taking over me right now.
hmms.. today got netball. how idiotic and pathetic is that? ohh well.. today is holiday. so let us unjoy nxt coming holiday kays? how i hate forced CCAs. if theres badminton.. sure i will be the pet of the CCA. haishh.. life sucks. totally sucks like shit ass... URGHS!

why should i care.

2005-10-16T12:33:00.000+08:00

why should i care?
should i?
i think not.
you're just confused how much i treat suhailah.
whatsoever.
even YOU yourself said it.
" i'm not close to you. suhailah more closer to you."
so why complain about how much ppl
treat you when your mind is set to it?
about sitting places to getting angry.
from getting angry to marajok.
from merajok to old ANCIENT matters.
form ANCIENT matters to intelligence.
from intelligence to TREATMENT share between two best friends.
from treatment share to transferring school.
from transferring school to WHY I SHOULD CARE.

look im sick of this. i know you are. so stop posting about this.
stop bitching about things you are sick off.
might as well find happiness.
if you dont want, then too bad. i dont care.
like you said..
WHY SHOULD I?

the johor trip.

2005-10-16T11:56:00.000+08:00

hellos there.
it's been TWO solid days of no copmputer.
busy busy. mostly busy enjoying c:

yesterday went to Johor.
followed my Aunt and Uncle with my cousies and my sis.
can say it was fun, and a little boring too.

first we went to this mall called Angsana tocheck out some hari raya clothes.
i wanted to buy this converse hot pink and black. looked like Gallaz shoes. costs RM169.
i only bougt about RM130+ so not enough. sobs!
the place was kinda pack and the [b. kurung and kebaya] were pretty cool. [mixed traditons]
some were of korean style which my sis intended to buy but theres no size for her.
hahha!! too bad.. i was kinda jealous thats why i was happy c: teehees evil me.
while we were browsing, we saw DAWN PRIMA RIA!! ohh my god!! she's damn pretty!
told my uncle and he said, "so what?!" tsk.. i was like why you say that? she's hot! haha..

then it was time for us to buka puasa at MUTIARA HOTEL.
there we ate there. the food was ohkay but the pastries was YUMYUM!!
ate till my stomach gonna go BA-BOOM!
haha.. expressive aye?
there at MUTIARA HOTEL, met my long distance cousin.
Noraliza [thinks thats the name] and her husband Ajai!! whoa. celebrity.
their my cousins' uncle's neice and nephew. so im not so really close to them.
met this malay comedian dont know what his name is. but i'll decribe him.
his face bercalar and got big nose. haahs. thats all i guess?

whoa. seen alot of singapore celebrities lately.
last two days especially.
ohh yarhh.. i took some pics. later i load them larhh..
not using my pc. using my bro's.
my pc was occupied by my other bro.
he even opened the case of the CPU.
tsktsk.. what a mess.

* Suhailah!! I want to buy sec 2 assesments like you too!
wait up for me c:

You know what?! I HEART EDISON CHEN!! teehees c:

KAU AURAKU - Ada Band
[indon] i guees?

Malam kehadiran cinta sambut jiwa baru
Telah lama kutunggu hadirmu disini
Namun hanya ruang semu yang nampak padaku
meski sulit harus ku dapatkan
Kerinduan yang mendalam terbitkan hasratku
Sambutlah tangan ini terima janjiku
Rasakan cinta yang tulus lewat aliran darahmu
Menyatu seiring dalam kasih

Kau auraku ..
Pancarkan sepercik harapan
Datanglah merasuk menjelma
Meleburkan cinta
Kubawa kau terbang menembus awan yang beriring
Kembangkan senyuman
Bagai bunga .. bawa keindahan

Tak dapat kusangkal adanya dirimu
yang selalu menaungi
Pikiran batinku ingin miliki hatimu
Takkan pernah terlepaskan
Kupersembahkan semua padamu

Kau auraku ..
Pancarkan sepercik harapan
Datanglah merasuk menjelma
Meleburkan cinta
Kubawa kau terbang menembus awan yang beriring
Kembangkan senyuman
Bagai bunga .. bawa keindahan

speechless

2005-10-14T17:34:00.000+08:00

second post of the day.
nadya. aku darh tak tahu aper nak cakap arhh.
kau tukar skola kau pon suker hati kau arh.
aku malas nak layan ni semuer.
pasal bender macam ini nak give up semuer.
if like this then good luck and all the best arh.
aku darh tak tau aper nak cakap.
its your life so do what you want. i dont care.

FUNFUN!!

2005-10-14T17:05:00.000+08:00

WHEEE!!
today had SO MUCH fun!!
actually today suppose to have netball training.
which was unexpectedly canceled when we reached there.
so all the netballers went to tampines and took neos. TWICE.

then after that me and rachel went to meet our "friends".
when we met them at the interchange, we went back to CS.
then we went to buy tickets to watch GOAL!!
at first me and rachel thought it would be boring.
but after all it was NICE.
while waiting for them to finish prayers, we went to play arcade.
played this game called HAPPY STAIRS something like that.
it is a game of luck luck luck. and i got that PSP at number 4!!
if i hit number 5 i will win already sia!!! fckfck.
so excited!! ahhas.. then we went to go home.
AFTER ALL IT WAS FUN!
i broke faiz birthday present. shit. sorry ehh.

went back home taking bus 22 and took it with nabil.
guess what?!? i saw KHAIRUL ANUAR, AZMIR AND NURUL AIN!!
they sat in front of us. khairul's voice so cute. azmir so handsome! haha..
but me and nabil was like.. we dont care we dont care. act jerr.. hhahah!!

thrid post

2005-10-13T20:30:00.000+08:00

so. nows the third post of the day.
so freaking bored.
i hate it when there's netball.
i wish to quit. seriously. quit straight.
i am just so tired that i dont haff time for myself.
these days without netball trainings was great.
i had fun time wit hmy mom.
we talked and joked. wahah.. all about my school days.
but like d'uhh if i share what happen with me and nadya.
she would like haff bad impression on my frens,
which i dont want this to happen.
anyways. so bored.. thinking of what pc im gonna buy ((:
so long and good night peepo!

REPOST NUMBER 3

2005-10-13T16:30:00.000+08:00

NADYA!
for freak's sake,
CAN YOU PLEASE STOP REOPENING ANCIENT MATTERS?
kau macam makcik arhh.. ceriter basi nak ulang ulang.
kau tak bacer buku english ehh?? FORGIVE AND FORGET.
nampaksah tak.
kau nie macam budak kecil arhh.. kau youngest so what?!
bare in mind you are ALREADY 13!!
think as a young adult!

abt that monkey.. i said " NO NEED TO BUY ARH.. TAK ROSAK PER?!?"
ko pekak ke perr arh!!
abt the profile and stuffs.. YOU NEVER ASK WHAT!!
are you damn bladdy telling me that you HAVE NO MOUTH?!?
and now complaining I DONT WANT TO HELP?!?
remember your name blog?!?! i changed it!! i DID HELPED YOU!!

YOU ARE SO OBVIOUSLY MAJOK. not angry. if angry you will forgive us what..
then ANGRY THE WHOLE DAY FOR WHAT?!?! that is called MAJOKkn?!?
i thought your malay very good?!?

abt my INTELLIGENCE.
aku BERSYUKUR PER!!
kau bukan tuhan kau tak ley nampak.
jangan sembarang arhh cakap.

aku fed up arh nak ngaggis pasal kau hiner aku.
kau hiner suhailah ingat aper? dier suker?!?
kau asek asek ingatkn prasan kau jerr.. abeh kite??

YOU ARE SELF-CENTERED!! dont go around calling ppl BITCH.
ASK YOURSELF. are you one?!? you bitch about me you know happy right?
tell me larh!! why must tell the whole world?!

` childishly emo ppl not welcome in my life.

to0 hhappy tt0 be sad.

2005-10-13T10:53:00.000+08:00

WE FOUGHT AGAIN.
but im not mostly involved.
when the hell did i say
i want to hack your friendster account?
i thought this whole thing is OVER?!?
you are starting it again!!
forget it.

yesterday, we fought.
a friendship that we though could never fall,
just fell.
fell like rotten apple.
smashed onto the forest floor.

but today. it was fine. glad it was.
just trying to forget about she calling us bitches.
yesterday too angry
till i forgot to blog about my happy times.

well about happy stuffs of yesterday -
haha!! one of them has to be kept secret.
it is about missing someone.
told suhailah. and from now on, only i cant tell one person.
which is suhailah. so, suhailah, consider yourself lucky ((:

anyways, yesterday went to tampines mall.
we were like the first shopper to enter.
nobody was there man..
shops were mostly closed.
so we went up and down the escalator.
since metro got no shoppers, it is not so crowded.
went to smell up the perfumes.
damn shiok. we both gonna buy this perfume.
smelled sorta fruity.
mainly strawberry.
then there was one irritating security guard!
i hate him mans! infact WE hate him!
he is so irritating. cannot let us shop in peace.
urghhs.
then we went to buy cd. suhailah bought three CDs.
greenday, shooting star and my chemical romance.
i was like whoa. 3 CDs in one day. hahas..

i was so happy. happy happy happy.
but sad because i know it will NEVER happen.

hmms.. today, went to NTUC Bedok branch.
damn shiok. buy Bonjour Cheese Cake. hahas..
but that also for buka. hmms..
i guess that is all.
chao peepo!

` iloveyoumanymany.
i was dead happy
when you knew what i meant.
at last you finally understood.
i'm glad you believe in me ((:
i heart kingpluto.

2ND BLADDY POST

2005-10-12T20:54:00.000+08:00

LOOK NADYA!!
JUST ABOUT SITTING PLACES YOU WANT TO CALL US BITCHES?
EXCUSE ME NADYA. IT IS JUST A PLACE!! FOR FCKING SAKE. YOU PULLED SUHAILAH HAIR REMEMBER. AND SHE DID NOT MERAJOK WITH YOU BUT INSTEAD OF JUST A STUPID PLACE YOU WANT TO MERAJOK ABOUT!! AFTER THE FCKING BLADDY SCHOOL WE RAN AFTER YOU OHKAY!! TOOK THE SAME BUS BUT YOU INSISTED TO GO ALL SO FCKING ALONE!
SO DONT THINK WE LEAVE YOU BEHIND!! AND SUHAILAH TREAT YOU BETTER THAN ME OHKAY. WHY I DID NOT PROTEST?!? BECAUSE I KNOW YOU BOTH ARE MY BEST FRENS AND I HAFF TO TOLERATE THAT. SINCE LAST TIME I HATE YOU BECOS OF THIS KAYY.. BUT STILL I AM FORCED TO LIKE YOU.. WHEN I BEGAN TO TREAT YOU AS MY BEST FREN YOU CALLING ME A BITCH?!? DID I SHOW OFF MY INTELIGENCE?!?! I HELPED YOU IN MATHS TOO REMEMBER!! IF YOU DONT REMEBER THAN THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM.
SO WHAT MY BROTHER BUY ME MP3. DID I MAKE IT A BIG DEAL!??! DID I TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ?!? DID I PUBLISH IT ON THE NEWS?? SAYING " EHH MY BRO BUY ME MP3"
PLS LARHH NADYA.. HE BUY ALSO.. I HAF TO SHARE.. I HAFF TO FIGHT FOR DAYS I WANT TO USE IT. IN THE END ROSAK. SO NO POINT TALKING ABOUT A DEAD FCKING SHIT.
I DID NOT CALL YOU NAMES OHKAY.. NOW THAT YOU CALL ME A BITCH.. PLS LISTEN UP.. THEN DONT FOLLOW US.. YOU ARE A BITCH AS WELL .. BECOS YOU ARE PART OF US. CRY LAHH FOR ALL I CARE!! WHEN YOU GOT DOWN AT THAT FCKING BLADY BUS.. I WANTED O CHASE YOU.. BUT NO USE.. WASTE MY MONEY WASTE MY TIME..YOU ARE ONLY THINKING OF YOURSELF !! OHKAY!! YOURSELF.. YOU ARE SPOILING YOURSELF WITH YOUR MAJOK STUFF LAHH... YOU NEVER ONCE PUJOK ME... ONLY SUHAILAH.. I TRIED PUJOK YOU BUT IM SICK OF ALWAYS LOOKING AT YOUR FACE WATSING MY MONEY ON THAT SOUR FACE.
I SHOW MY INTELIGENCE.. I TRIED SHARING.. I SHARES WITH SUHAILAH YOU DONT BOTHER ASK!! I TOUGHT YOU MATHS REMEBER YOU ASKED ME.. KAYY THATS FINE BUT YOU DONT HAFF TO SAY IM SHOWING OFF RITE!! WELL I SHOW YOU OFF MY INTELLIGENCE NOW.
A BITCH IS NOT ONE OF YOUR BEST FREN YOU CALL WHEN YOU QUARREL IF THEY LEAVE YOU ALON. THAT IS CALL NEGLECT.
A BITCH IS A FEMALE DOG.
A BITCH IS A GIRL WHO CAUSE YOU TO SUFFER BOTH MENTALLY. PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY HURT..
WE ADMIT WE HURT YOU EMOTIONALLY.. BUT BCOS OF A BLADDY FCKING SITTING PLACE?!?!
GO SEARCH YOUR SOUL LAHH.. you want to die so much rite?? why push the blame to us?!?! i did tell you not to die ohkay!!
but bcos you called me a bitch.. you
are so a TOTAL BITCH yourself. bitches label ppl. you labbeled us ferst. so here's what YOU get.
cry over this for all i care.. you think i never cry before is it?
so what if im smart?? jealous?!? want it ask for it!! dont complain!!

asshole life-

life so short.

2005-10-12T14:40:00.000+08:00

life is so short.
and it sucks.
especially when you are not the one controlling it.
it's not my parents who control my life.
they let me have my say.
although they sometimes dont let me crap at them.
but atleast i still hae the chance.
i hate my life. dont ask why.
dont act as you care.
bcos i know you dont.
and even if you do..
i dont believe so no point.

i hate my life NOW and that is the final say.
overall i love it.
just hate all those fckers.
fcking up my life. why me? fck off pls.
geddalife. i need mine and i love it.
so dant make me suffer. dont be such saddists!!

SADDISTS you suck. suck suck suck.
and they are adults. so shameful.
please haf mercy for god's sake.
let me choose my life. your concern is not welcome.
besides your concern is fake and FORCEFUL.
urghhs. you all suck. why god? why am i with them?

malay paper today was hard. thats all ppl.
chao.

bored.

2005-10-11T14:39:00.000+08:00

so bored.
sic and tired.
and hating my life :/

made a music player.

(found at the links section under favourite sites)

but shit. it only works in internet browsers.

so if it isn't working then to0 bad.

but i also cannot play.. haha..

when i play in internet browser, it works.

that is because i downloaded the whole thing.

anyways. i will try my best making them work for all of you guys.

and erm.. for myself too.

dont forget to tag ppl (:

i hate my life.

2005-10-10T14:35:00.000+08:00

haiish..
i hate my life mans.
so hate it.
i love it for some special momments.
but the rest..
it is like so ..
permenant torchure.
i hate you.
i hate you.
i hate you.

today maths paper. was hard.
be prepared to fail girl.
haishh. most probably wont get my laptop.
but there's also a possibility too.
my dad owes me a bomb.
so the laptop paradise will terminate the bomb.
and then no more loan. haha..

then after school went to tampines library.
we kick butt and pull hair..
so violent mans..
everyone was lo0king.. haha..
then theres a grop of boys calling nadya? hahah!!
but there was one guy from that group lookied at me..
haha.. cair mans.. but i was carried away by our nonsense.
maybe tomorrow going out with faiz. maybe only arh.
saiful? dont know lahh he. wish he is more built =x
opps.
secret told.
but hey. seriously.. i am like so much fatter than you.
i prefer macho and mature guys (: but.. ohh well.

came back home and was like so shit boring manns.
faiz says i never puaser sey.. kurang ajarr.. haha..
a guy asking a girl whether she puaser. tak malu sey.
talked crap with him.. so nice man..
didnt know someone i used to neglect is actually a big help to me.
so far only my parents, god, suhailah, nadya and faiz made me happy.
about nadya friend.. rudy.. want to talk to him but i very abit..
dont want arhh.. sounds more likely flirting.
but seriously. everyone flirts.

love does not appear without romance and flirting.
but ofcourse flirting like hell is a bad thing to do lahh..
i mean 1o0% flirt? how sia.. wonder how they can do that.
i flirt? hmms.. wonder when.. but not alot rite?

i most likely to bully boys than to flirt with boys.
so what if im a tomboy? at least not a bitch and minah rite..
am i a tomboy? used to..
now suhailah says since when i became so girly?
you mean all the while im no a girl? gaushh manns.
hahah..

life sucks. school makes my life go urghh!!
not school work.. not friends.. my cca.
cant i just quit? why must i go on?
it is not becos i am not in the team or anything..
it is becos of interest.
i've been forced to do stuff ever since sec 1 manns.
go damai also not my choice. join netball is kinda a force thing too.
urghhhs!! can you just go away.

kay now saiful talking to me. haishhh.
he made me more angry!! i just forgave him and now.
not again.
break arh! urghhs!!

`ihateyoo`ihateyoo`ihateyoo`ihateyoo
`ihateyoo`ihateyoo`ihateyoo`ihateyoo
`ihateyoo`ihateyoo`ihateyoo`ihateyoo
`ihateyoo`ihateyoo`ihateyoo`ihateyoo

****

sorry darling.
noone can replace you.
i got one but it just wont work.
why her?
not me?
i cant forget you.
everytime you talk about love, it makes me cry.
can you just be mine?
i love you too much. i hate you too.
i hate my life.
i hate my life!!